Random Ramblings

The Plan for 2012 (Part 3 of 31st December)

2012-01-02T02:06:00.000+08:00

By the end of 2011... Wait. Rather, it was by the end of 2010 that I already knew how my 2012 is going to be like. First of all, I was already approached by Anderson Secondary School to be their director for their Speech Day in 2012. This is funny cos what happened was in 2010, I helped them to direct their play for their Speech Day 2010. In the first place, I was only an assistant director, but due to some complications with the original director for that year, I was then moved to be the director in 2010. In 2011, they wanted me to help them direct their Speech Day once again, but they approached me too late and my schedule was already packed to the brim. So for their Speech Day 2012, they ensured themselves that they will get me as the director, and they booked me down way earlier in 2011… I’m blessed that way.

And towards November 2011, I was also booked down for a touring road show sponsored by SMRT. 33 shows in 4 months. AMAZING!

And in December 2011, I was also approached by a director to act in a production: Sonnets for an Old century, and the concept is interesting! It will be a THEATRE BY THE BEACH in Sentosa! On top of that, I have also booked a few slots of erm… a course that I had been planning to take all these years, but had only managed to put it into actions in October 2011.

My boyfriend, being my muse at the moment, has also inspired me to further improve my qualification, in paper temrs that is, and so by April 2012, I am hoping to have gotten a place in a local university.

With all that in mind, I have also decided to pen down my resolution in 2012:

a. To read 30 books.

b. To watch 30 movies.

c. To watch 5 plays.
d. To increase savings in the bank.

e. To set up a company/different blog with a different direction.

f. To get a D***** L******

g. To be involved in 3 productions

Of course there are other things that I want to achieve, but at the moment, I was not able to quantify the goals, and therefore I shall not put it into my list of resolution for I will not be able to gauge if I had accomplished it, or otherwise. For example, to be a better boyfriend to my other half- you can never really quantify that, neither, can you safely tell yourself that you have been one, cos once you become a better boyfriend, you’d still want to stretch yourself to be better than better. If you don’t even bother to stretch yourself, then I guess..erm.. I’m not even going to go there. I am not a relationship expert anyway.

So there you have it. 2012 for me. While others think of the end of the world, I decided to just think about life and how one can make it better….

The Forming up of Resolution 2011 (Part 2 of 31st December)

2012-01-01T02:04:00.000+08:00

So in 2010, I decided to take charge of my life again. This is of course not the first time that my life took a turn. In 1999, I was watching Backstreet Boys’ concert with my GF. She went goo goo gaa gaa on that guy, whats-his-name-again? The blonde? Oh yes. Aaron Carter.

I looked at him.

Yeah. He is cute. But I am also cute. The only difference is that he is much slimmer, so when he wore those baggy jeans that expose his boxers, he actually look like a man oozing with sex appeal. When I did it, I looked like some round pimply teenager who just took a dump in his pants.

So I changed my lifestyle. No eating after 8pm and jog every weekdays from Jalan Bahar Camp to Jurong Point and back. Unfortunately, by the time I saw the result, the GF is no longer by my side. Broke up.

The other life changing turn in my life was when I broke up with my third ex-BF. He said nobody will ever find me sexually attractive anymore. So once again, I changed my life and get my fitness regime back in place, and got the body that I wanted.

So back to the story. 2010. No job. No idea how to sell myself cos I have never took charge of my life for a very long time. I was very complacent. No. Wait. If Oxford ever invented a word to describe the state of beyond complacency, they would have put my name in their dictionary. Word of the year for 2010. I guess.

But one thing for sure, I am always thankful to God for blessing me with the strength to always just carry on forward. I wrote in to my dear friend, and also my boss, Danny Jow, telling him that I have finally left Sentosa and is now freelancing as a performer/ drama trainer. He did rope me into a couple of jobs, and I managed to land myself into a few shows that year. It was my first time working with The Big Show Company. And I was definitely thankful to be given such an opportunity. Yes. This is the same company that brought to you the Cranberries Concert!

And in 2010, I have also decided to start a list of resolutions I have for the year. I didn’t quite managed to accomplish all of them, but at least, I did try to put in the effort.

In 2011, I had another list of resolutions. Among them are the followings:

1. To read more books.

2. To have a savings of erm…a certain amount!

3. To improve my craft

4. To be involved in 3 productions.

5. To venture into a field that I am foreign to.

And throughout 2011, this same list have given some purposes. An aim. Some goals. In short, I am more grounded and I now have a direction on where I want to steer my life to. And to be honest, for the longest time, I have procrastinated my desire to hold a driving licence.

By the end of 2011, I have done the following:

1. I have read a couple of books; including Rant and Tell All by Chuck Palahniuk, Juliet Naked by Nick Hornby, Good People (2007), Fundamentally Happy (2006), Off Centre (1994), all by Haresh Sharma, and a couple of other books that escaped my memory now…

2. I have also attempted to broaden my perspective in life and love and what not, by watching more movies.

3. I have reached my targeted goal of savings this year.

4. I was involved in 4 productions:
a.Swordfish +Concubine: Fall of Singapura, directed by Johnathan Lim and written by Tuan Chye
b.Cold Dish, directed by Joanne Tay
c. ICA musical- Directed and acted by yours truly.
d. Jen’s Homecoming- produced by Skinned Knee Production.

5. To venture into a field foreign to me—I tried picking up dance. It was half way attempt, but am planning to pick it up again in 2012

6. To improve my craft—I am venturing into directing and writing this year. I’ve written a mini musical for Marsiling Primary and adapted Raden Mas for Chung Cheng High and Swordfish Story for Rivervale Primary.

All in all, I guess I did pretty well in sticking to my resolution for the year.

And now, I shall move on to tell you about my plans in 2012…

To be continued-

31st December (Part 1)

2011-12-31T23:59:00.003+08:00

Keeping tab/ Reviewing progress or achievements or key milestones and making new year’s resolution to me, used to be of somewhat or something cliché. I used to be under the impression that this is only for those wankers.

They wanked.

They cummed.

And then they received some sort of enlightenment…

Be it from above or from within themselves; they are pointless! Cos we all know by the end of the year, we end up not doing anything about it. That list that goes on and on, of which you’d probably taken about half a day to come up with on the 31st December of every year, just end up at some corners of your table/ wardrobe, collecting dust for the year.

This was the perception I held dear till 2009. By now, you’d probably have already known that by the end of 2009, I made a life changing decision. Beginning of 2010 I left a company which I worked for about 5 years. Be it, environmental changes, management changes et cetra: The point is I left. And that is that. So I was trying to put myself together, and market myself as a freelancer. I wrote down my CV. I attempted to.

3 words into the whole process, I was stuck. I didn’t know what to write about myself. All those 5 years working in that same company, somehow has frozen my ability to think. I no longer knew which part of myself is marketable anymore.

Yes. I have a diploma in Mass Communication, from a respectable school. Ngee Ann Polytechnic to be exact. The only school to offer Mass Communication in polytechnic level back then. But years have gone by, and I looked at it again. Is it still relevant? Now, everyone from all walks of life has a diploma in Mass Communication. So what now?

Of course there are the career fairs and meet ups with prospective employers, BUT I always felt myself being socially awkward at these meetings simply because, I don’t have a common idea to talk about. I don’t read the news. I don’t read books. I don’t watch TV. “I was screwed!”

Potential employer: So what’s your favourite TV programme?

Me: Do I look like a TV junkie?

Potential employer: What was the last book you’ve read?

Me: If you want a bookworm, you should have stated so in the job requirement.

Potential employer: What’s your take about the recent crisis?

Me: The world can go fuck themselves for all I care!

See what I mean? I know you might think that I am making these up. I’m not. Nowadays, potential employers no longer asked you about your qualifications and stuffs. Instead, they try to get to know you by asking you sneaky questions that are so called “indirect” and yet “direct”. From all your answers, they then try to make some “clever” deduction about your personality and how they think you might fit into the company’s culture.

Potential employer: So that Adi ah, he said he likes that lomantic comedy called Wedding the My Best Friend. I think ah, he may be one of those lomantic hopeless. So hopeless in job also.

And that’s the reality of today’s world.

SO as I was saying… “ I AM SO SCREWED!”

Continue->

Money Dont Grow on Trees or Friends

2011-12-29T18:18:00.002+08:00

Dear You Up There,
Yesterday, I had a great time catching up with this group of people. I met them many years back. Possible in 2003. And we've been friends since then.

I don't know if our meeting back then is pure coincidental or if it's your doing to fulfil that grand plan of yours. But i'm thankful nonetheless.

I will also like to state here that i will never trade them for anything, even for a million euros. They're the best people i ever had in my life; always there even through my darkest hour.

For 10million euros?

Erm...

Ok. I might consider.

Ok. I'm just kidding.

Obviously...

Yours Truly,
Adi Jamaludin

2011-12-25T12:03:00.001+08:00

5 tips to have pictures you wanna keep

As a follow up, to my previous post Through the Camera Lense,I am going to take the liberty to post some tips of how to combat the Fear of Lenses!

#5- Come equipped- Make-up, tweezers, mini hair trimmer, hair curler/ straightener- whatever it takes to make yourself look good. With the advent of computer software like photoshop, one may overlook the power of make up. Why trouble yourself with photoshop, when you can do without, by just using make up to cover the flaws, and tweezers to eliminate stray hairs? Anyway, it helps to always have a safety net. Makes you feel more comfortable in front of your enemies- the lenses!

#4- Make sure you have whatever it takes to also cool yourself down- mini fans, industrial fans, air-con, water, cucumber, basically whatever to help you cool down. Cos most photographers will be working with strong spotlights which emit heat that can make you melt into puddles of perspiration and that ain’t looking good for the lenses.

#3- Rolls of tissues- preferable the super absorbent type and always remember to dab yourself regularly, to eliminate the oil shine and perspiration that will make you look grimy in front of the lenses.

#2- Experiment always, to find your “good side” and “good angle”. Contrary to the popular belief that everyone is born symmetrical, I am here to break the myth- No one is born symmetrical, unless if you’re a model. Even models are not 100% symmetrical. Just like Mariah Carey, I find that my right side is the better side in photographs.

#1- Get your boyfriend to be your photographer- Cos he is the one who probably knows you best and can advise you accordingly on your good angles and pose.

But if he is the type who is condescending, then tell him to get the fuck out of your life…you shouldn’t be attached to him in the first place!

2011-12-24T23:54:00.000+08:00

Through the Camera Lense

People: Why do you choose theatre over TV?

Adi: Cos i like the live interaction. When you act on stage, you're constantly receiving instant feedbacks from the audience. And that's a motivation for you to keep improving the shows on a night to night basis..

People: Doesn't TV pay better?

Adi: well, there are the pros and cons to it. All in all, i prefer theatre. It is sort of a comfort zone to me..

And that is where the conversations would usually stop. But if one were to ask me, what is this comfort that theatre offers that TV can't, i would say that the camera is the most daunting equipment to ever be invented simply cos the lenses has the ability to amplify any form of flaws that one have.

On one hand, i really admire those who have the overflowing courage to be scrutinised by the lenses, on the other i still have my reservations about being in front of those lenses, especially since i am at my heaviest point, if you know what i mean...

So usually, when i agree to do a short film or an advert shoot, i would choose a very close friend to work with. Or a total stranger, whom i know i will not ever meet for the rest of my life!

But to have your other half offerring to help me with my studio shot, it's a total different ball game altogether. It is beyond nerve wrecking.

I must also say here that he has been the sweetest thing on Earth, always reassuring me of my ability and how looks... Are just.. well, looks.

And that is why i so readily agree for him to be my photograher for the day. Am very excited about it...

2011-12-20T20:35:00.001+08:00

5 Top Regrets of the Dying

Saturday night. I was reading some random articles on my iPhone when I accidentally read an article with the title: 5 Top Regrets of the Dying. Intrigued I went on to read the following article (taken off the webbie: http://www.rense.com/general95/regrets.htm) ...

Top Five Regrets Of The Dying
12-10-11

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Inspired as i was, I decided that I must not let myself get into a situation where I might be trapped by these 5 regrets. So i sent myself on a mission to change my lifestyle, which first of all included going to KL with my friends, Harlie and JY. So that is number 4 down. Before I even read the article, I have also ensured that I get a moment with my god-sister, Cindy and Gillian. (nice bunch to hang out with!)So this just seal off number 4 regret for now.

I know I will not have #1 cos I am already living a life that I wanted. To be an actor/ drama educator and not be tied down to any form of conventional 9-5 job.

As for no #2, as I have aged over the years, I have learnt not to always chase after jobs, but to pick and choose the jobs that I think will fulfill me both financially, spiritually and mentally. That's another regret down.

#5, is something that I always have realised. We all have the choice to be happy. If you're not happy with your job, leave it. There are other opportunities out there to be explored. And I say this based on my experience. I remembered, 2009 is a year that marked my 4th year working in Sentosa. I loved working in that place, given the ambiance of the working place, the people around and of course the perks that I get to enjoy. However, later that year, there was a major shift in management, and that was when I find myself no longer happy working on the island. On one hand, I feel very reluctant to leave the place, cos I was getting comfortable with it. But early in 2010, I could no longer stand the work ethics there, and I decided to leave. Of course, before leaving, I've mailed my friend, Danny Jow, telling him of my predicament. Armed with just one contact, and a burning desire to leave my full time job, I left the island. It was very daunting at first, but given time, i got the hang of working as a freelance performer and drama educator, and everything is once again good, and I am looking forward to better things in 2012.

Danny Jow once told me,"Guard your heart. Never be held hostage by your employer" and I have always held on to that. Always have faith in yourself, and place your self-value and dignity high. Give yourself a chance to grow and bloom and to discover your strength.

As for #2, I guess I am still working on it. I wish I have the courage to express myself and mysexuality to parents, siblings, relatives. Which I sorta did. Remember the post where I confessed to my mum of my sexuality. I guess she is still traumatized by the whole incident and is still coping with the whole situation.I am not asking for acceptance. I am only asking for her to acknowledged that I am not straight, but I still have her best interests in mind...

How about you? Did the article move you? Will you ever change your lifestyle to avoid these 5 regrets? I guess at the end of the day, the author did make a poignant point: Happiness is a choice.

2011-12-09T14:53:00.001+08:00

Life's Not-so-little Blessings

Today's horoscope read "“@ZodiacFacts: #Aquarius have relatively few close friends, but they do tend to have a very strong mental connection with these friends”

And i think to myself, how true is the horoscope. I'm usually skeptical about people. I don't make fruends easily thanks to thus particular trait. But what i'm more thankful for is the fact that those whom i befriended are those whom i know will stick by me through thick and thin, better or worse, tested and proven over the years.

2011, like many other years have presented its own set of tests and tribulations, but i have taken everything in my stride and i've made it thus far because of you, you and you... People whom have given me courage, determination and sheer will power to just continue on with life, so that i can enjoy the better parts at a later time.

I'm also thankful to you for walking into my life when everything is just crumbling down. Your patience and love made a better person and will continue to inspire me to be a better person every day. I love you.

2011-12-02T20:35:00.001+08:00

Love in a Humbling Place

For the past week, I’ve had the privilege of working with the under privileged children under the Chinese Development Assistance Council (CDAC) . Financially, they may not be well-to-do, but let me tell you something; they are fucking brilliant! (pardon the language!)

One of the kids, whom shall not be named, managed to duplicate a story words for words, perfectly, just from sheer memory work, AND he had only read the story once. Another kid, can do mental sums at secondary school level and answered 30 questions in less than 15 minutes. They remind me of Dustin Hoffman’s character in Rain Man.

But what is most apparent is the sheer love and respect they have towards each other and the facilitators there. There was no racist remark passed around, and in the duration of two weeks, I have received more than 30 mini notes from students telling me how much they appreciated what I have taught them on a day-to-day basis.

They are really adorable. If you do have the time, you might wanna drop by the center in Tanjong Katong, in the afternoon, and you’d noticed that the center is filled with so much love, that even the lamp posts cast heart shapes on the floor.

2011-11-17T20:29:00.001+08:00

What makes an Inspirational Teacher/ Trainer?

During one of the meetings, I was presented this question. At one glance, I answered it loud and confident: An inspiring teacher is someone who can teach with so much passion and energy. Of course, along with that answer, came flashes of memories from those times I was still a student in Swiss Cottage Secondary School.

I remembered my Malay teacher. How lifeless was he. Do you know the meaning of layu? Layu in malay means lifeless, withering, about to die. Ironically, the malay people are called Melayu in malay. Melayu is just the secondary word to layu, as in walking is the secondary word to walk. So by technicality, Malays called themselves the race of withering and dying. My Malay teacher is the epitome of Melayu. He embodies every bit of the meaning to that word.

3pm, Malay lesson. I walked into class. He said,” Kelas, buka buku karangan dan tuliskan karangan berikut.” He wrote on the board. He said,” Selepas awak selesai, tukar buku karangan dengan kawan, dan berikan markah yang tepat pada kawan.” He walked over to the desk. He sat. He slept.

Next day, 3pm, Malay lesson. I walked into class. He said,” Kelas, buka buku karangan dan tuliskan karangan berikut.” He wrote on the board. He said,” Selepas awak selesai, tukar buku karangan dengan kawan, dan berikan markah yang tepat pada kawan.” He walked over to the desk. He sat. He slept.

The day after, 3pm, Malay lesson. I walked into class. He said,” Kelas, buka buku karangan dan tuliskan karangan berikut.” He wrote on the board. He said,” Selepas awak selesai, tukar buku karangan dengan kawan, dan berikan markah yang tepat pada kawan.” He walked over to the desk. He sat. He slept.

Put this on repeat for all five days, for 40 weeks in that year.

It’s a miracle that I managed to pass Malay with a distinction. Come to think of it, I always had a very strong Malay foundation in primary school. I was the only boy who took higher mother tongue. But that was beside the point.

The point is, that Malay teacher is the direct opposite of being inspirational.

On the other hand, my Maths teacher, Mrs Mano, her name, she is the angel. She turned my F9 into an A2 within 2 years. The amount of energy she has in class, the amount of passion and love she puts into her teachings. I remembered her standing at the school gate, cos I was trying to sneak out of her remedial class. I remembered the worry in her face, when I didn’t manage to grasp a certain concept. I remember her asking if I am okay, the next day I come back to school after one day MC. And I remember all the goodness in her, and I told myself, I wanna be like her.

But the most inspirational teacher, I ever had, was the boy called Aidil. He has imparted the wisdom of responsibility and integrity, impacted my life, and has inspired me to become the best drama trainer I could ever be, and I am still teary whenever I relate to how he turned my life around. It has been 3 years…

2011-10-31T14:50:00.000+08:00

By the Beach…

Yesterday night was perfect. We were by the beach. Lying down, looking at the stars. The sky was clear. We were listening to Coldplay. You by my side. You suddenly popped a question: What would you do five years down the road?

I gave it a hard thought. And with that thought, came other questions: Will you still love me if I became unemployable or handicapped? Will you still stay with me if for some reasons I could no longer fulfil your sexual needs? There were many questions.

But at the end of that night, you reassured me that no matter how much we are going to be tested, you sill still stick by my side, through thick and thin, through health and sickness. Thank you for reassuring me… I really appreciate it.

2011-10-23T14:47:00.000+08:00

How do you know if you have found that perfect boyfriend?

I am sure this is one of the age old questions that we all asked ourselves every time we’ve met that attractive stranger, be it in a coffee place or a virtual space. Of course, the doubt, will in one way or the other, be so overwhelming that we repeatedly ask ourselves every seconds of the day, up to the point that it overshadows any possibility for any romance to bloom.

And before you do proceed to read further, please read this disclaimer thoroughly: I am not a romance expert, I just write based on what I know or experience.

Alright, to me the perfect man is out there, but before you can even decide if he is perfect, you have to first of all allow him into your private life. The way to do this is to expose any dirty secrets you have that you know will irk a stranger on the street. For example, on my first date, usually I don’t bother to stress myself out to select that perfect outfit for a first date. I just wear what is comfortable for me, cos I need to know that the man I am dating will put my comfort above his. And if he didn’t react violently, and he asked you out for a second date, then you are assured that he is comfortable with the “real” you and not the “made-up” you.

Next date, wear something that defines you. On my second date, I wore a knee boot that most punkers wear, cos I really liked the boots. He, of course asked me if I am comfortable being in the boots, and suggested that maybe I should change to another pair of shoes. Immediately, I knew his threshold for outlandish outfit. At this point, of course, you can ask yourself, if you’re willing to not wear the boots ever again, just to spend your lifetime with him. I decided not to wear the boots ever again whenever we go out.

Then we you’re attached, go for the haircut you know he despised. If he didn’t break up with you, he is meant to stay. Then, of course, change the hair right after that.

And if in the relationship, you can stay in one toilet and chat while he or yourself is shitting on the throne, he is meant to stay. If he helps you squeeze the pimples on your back and you help him trim his nose hair and you’ve drooled on each other without any feeling of disgust, you shared toothbrush, or comb and he help you style your hair, and he is willing to give up his comfort zone for you. If he can mix with your friends and chat with them about anything that they throw into the table of discussions. Yeap. He is that perfect man. I have one now. I’m blessed.

2011-10-01T02:45:00.000+08:00

The Case of the Ex(es)

A trend in my twitter timeline gets me writing this next entry. It has a hashtag- #ThanksToMyEx.
It’s like this mini tribute to all the exes that one might have, and it got me thinking- I do have hell lots of things to thank my Ex(es) for. The ex-boyfriends I mean. Of course there are a lot of things that I have to be thankful to my ex-girlfriends for. One of which is to make me realise that maybe I am not meant to handle delicate and fragile things. Of course some of my ex-boyfriends went beyond fragile, it made me feel like a bull in chinashop. I suggested that he undergo sex change at the end of our relationship. Mean, but I guess it is justified.

Yes. So why did I decide to dedicate this entry to ex-boyfriends instead of ex-girlfriends? I guess cos I’ve forgotten half of the things I wanted to thank my ex-girlfriends for. *gasp*. And I was not matured enough to be appreciative back then, when I was still straight. And I already did dedicate an entry to all the ex-girlfriends before; the entry is hiding somewhere within this blog.

So the first thing that I got out of my introspection of my previous gay relationships is that they are all intertwined with each other. Starting with the third ex, Amir. I got into a relationship with him and it ended really badly, after three months. Due to my excessive ranting of how I was suffering, a friend decided to introduce Farhan to me. We were in a relationship that lasted about two years. When I broke up with Farhan, I got even more depressed and invited a Malaysian to be a shoulder for me to cry on. That Malaysian, named Alex, travelled to Singapore and became my boyfriend for the next 9 months. Alex introduced twitter to me, which is where I met my current boyfriend. We have been attached for three months now, and I am truly happy.

So here it goes, Thanks Amir for breaking my heart and let me have the chance to meet Farhan. Thanks Farhan for the immense pain that made me desperate enough to get attached to a Malaysian who introduced twitter to me.

I also want to thank Rahman, the first asshole to break my heart. He out-ted me to all my friends. I was devastated, but at least now I know my friends will always be there and accept me for who I am.

The second ex didn’t have much impact or function in my life…no matter how hard I tried to find one. #justsaying.

2011-09-20T14:44:00.000+08:00

What makes you feel fulfilled?

Recently, I met a friend who has yet to work. All he does is bumming around at home and repeats that 365 days for god knows how many years. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise for me, since I know him to be like even when we were both serving National Service. I thought it was a phase back then, but seeing him recently, I guess he is stuck in that phase. What amazed me is that he has no sense of worries or whatsoever, even being jobless and thus cashless in Singapore.

I mean, for me, I will get worried if there is nothing for me to do that gives me financial rewards. (probably thanks to both my parents, who helped painted this gory mental image of ageing, the amount of money one might possibly have to spend due to osteoporosis, cancer and their terminal cousins). And here is my friend, all smiley and not a single trace of worry, defying the gory images my parents planted in my head.

Or maybe I got my objectives in life all wrong. To blog, or read, or meet my friend is now more of a luxury for me. Of course, I will still make time for my friends, like JY and Hairul and Audrey and Sara and Harlie and Charis and Joyce. They are all still my priority. But if this friend of mine has proven that you can still attain peace without any job or money, then it really makes me feel like an idiot for even trying.

I look at those farmers. Even they have to work to feed their families and themselves. Maybe I should just ask this friend of mine to the secrets in not having to worry shit depite being jobless. And maybe he will provide me with the clichéd answer that money is not everything.

If only life can present himself, or herself for that matter, in a tangible form, I would have stood in front, and ask: Life, why are you so ironic?

2011-08-13T15:14:00.003+08:00

5 reasons to break-up

I just thought I'd pen-ed 5 lines one can attribute a break up to;

#5- "Looking at our skin colours, I can tell we had a lot of differences that we cannot resolve."

#4- "My mother in law is a monster in law."

#3- "My wallet is not a bottomless pit. I cannot afford to be with someone who is the epitome of Gluttony."

#2- "You reminded me of my mother/father."

#1- "I am allergic to bullshit"

2011-08-11T23:10:00.000+08:00

The Himbotic Me

Adi is seen busy doing some work on his laptop and getting himself almost cross-eyed going through his schedule for the month. His iPhone rings.

Adi: Hello.

Nannette: Adi? Nannette here.

Adi: Hi Nannette.

Nannette: I want to talk about your last class tomorrow...

Adi: Tomorrow?

Nannette: Yes. Your last class tomorrow at Tampines North Primary School. I need you to...

Adi: (cuts in, slightly annoyed) Nanette, my last class is on Friday, not tomorrow...

Nannette: Adi. Today is Thursday..

Adi: (very annoyed) YES! And?

Nannette: And after Thursday is Friday. So your last class IS tomorrow.

Adi: Oh.

Insert SFX: Kwang Kwang Kwang

2011-08-07T15:21:00.004+08:00

Libertad

I don't understand half of what is sung by them, but this music video is HOT!

2011-08-05T13:31:00.000+08:00

HALAL

For those of you who wants to know more about HALAL way of slaughtering animals, you can view the following video...

p.s: I got to know about this video from Alex Chai Su Haw....

2011-08-04T12:25:00.000+08:00

The SCRIPT

Scenario 1:

Andrew walks in, limping. He has sprained his right ankle. Mother walks in on stage. Andy, who is Andrew’s brother is busy playing games on his laptop.

Mother: Can you help me get a bottle of ice lemon tea?
Andrew: But the shop is quite far.
Mother: It is just a few minutes walk.
Andrew: But my ankle is hurting.
Mother: Are you a man or what?
Andrew: Why can’t you ask Andy to buy it?
Mother: He is having fever. I don’t want his fever to get worse.
Andrew: And it’s totally okay for me to walk to the shop with my injured ankle?

Scenario 2:

Andrew and a newspaper auntie are stranded in middle of the sea. Andrew’s parents came to the rescue with a speed boat. Andrew is about to pull himself onto the boat.

Father: Andrew, I am sorry. The boat can only take one more person. You have to let the auntie step onto the boat .
Andrew: What?
Mother: She has to be rescued. We need our daily morning paper you know…

Scenario 3:

Andrew and a house agent are running from GODZILLA. Andrew’s parent came to the rescue with a helicopter. Andrew is about to pull himself up the helicopter.

Father: Andrew, I am sorry. The helicopter can only take one more person. You have to let the house agent be rescued.
Andrew: What about me?
Mother: Well, if you die, all your money will go back to the ESTATES, i.e. US, which then makes the purchasing of the house in Malaysia easier for us. And that is why we need the house agent to be rescued.

2011-07-31T15:30:00.001+08:00

Jealousy

Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own. ~Harold Coffin

After watching BRIDESMAIDS, I realised how silenced communication can sometimes be. And that unhappiness may conceal itself in the form jealousy and will only surfaced in the form of an outburst. Even between best friends, sometimes the different signals of jealousy can easily be missed. Am I making sense?

Whatever it is, I guess what I am trying to say is… not everyone is very open verbally. Some may choose to drop hints to show that they are not content with something. And sometimes, even between best friends, who knows each other for so long, may not be able to pick up signals or hints. (especially yours truly). So…sometimes it helps if everyone could play a part and say out a thing or two about what they are not happy about, rather than to drop hints here and there… hints could be misread, and assumptions are not healthy.

And if you don’t understand what I am trying to say here, then neither do I. Maybe I was just trying to be analytical (plus trying too hard to sound poetic and clever) of the movie I just watched. Bridesmaid—damn funny, but storyline is a little bit meandered… Get it?

"Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them." ~Jennifer James

2011-07-25T00:22:00.000+08:00

Self reflection after Larrry Crowne

I don’t do this often, but then again not many movies touched me on a personal level. This movie definitely did; and it made me reflect on the reason I chose to be a drama TEACHER. I have always known that teaching is something that I wanted to do, but I just wasn’t sure what I wanted to be teaching.

Of course, needless to say, my mum was pretty much against the idea. To her, a man must take on jobs that exuberate masculinity—a pilot, a soldier; she’d even settle for a construction worker. A teacher is never in her mum-approved list of jobs.

Fast forward to end 2005, I was in drama club and was the president and therefore I had a peek into the amount that was paid to our then drama trainer. $120 per hour. That was hell lot of money! (to me... back then.) and straight away I know: Drama trainer it shall be for me.

But then again, it was slightly more complicated than what I had expected. To be a drama trainer, you have to have a decent amount of experience in the industry itself. You have got to be an actor. Back then, out of 10 auditions, I will be lucky enough to even get one call back. Not even a confirmed job. Everyone who opened their audition doors to me, slammed it back shut, citing me being too green. Everyone except a lady called Jillyn Koh. She opened one small door of opportunity for me; to work in Sentosa as an Interactive Character, which was then still considered as a pilot project. They were not sure which direction to take it to.

From there, i established connections, and I landed my first drama teaching assignment- teach drama in Malay.
Paywise- not that fantastic.
Assignment wise- I vomited blood, literally. It was fasting month. The kids were rowdy as hell. I had to take on 40 Malay students (of whom majority never fasted).

After the first class, I sat on the pavement outside the school gates, and bawled my eyes out. I almost gave up. But I comforted myself by repeated telling myself that no other jobs would pay $35 an hour just to teach kids to move. So I made money my top motivation. I never really cared if the students grasp concepts or understand what I was teaching. Drama was non-examinable subject. So who cares right?

There was once, I had to teach one neighbourhood school- the stereotypical one where parents don’t give a fuck on what their children do or where the children are lucky enough if their parents don’t end up six feet under due to drug induced deaths or AIDS or worse end up in DRCs for what seems like as if they were born there. Yes. That kind of school does exist. The drama companies didn’t hype it up. Just so you know.

Anyway, the class I took had 40 students. Most of them came in with tattered shoes and bags and their teachers told me that some of them didn’t even have money to have lunch. Of course, i still didn’t care; the only thing I cared was to get my money and after 10 sessions, I would be out of there.

That changed when a student called Aidil. He came up to me and his body was riddled with fresh bruise. He handed over $80 to me.

Aidil: Cikgu Adi, ni duit untuk kelas drama. (Mr Adi, this is the fee for drama class)

Adi: Duit ni, kenapa tak kasi form teacher? (why you never give this to the form teacher?)

Aidil: Form teacher cakap Aidil kasi duit lambat, jadi kena kasi Cikgu Adi. ( form teacher said I got the money late, so now have to give to you directly)

Adi: Tangan dengan kaki kenapa? Gaduh eh? (what happened to your hands and legs? Got into a fight? )

Aidil: Tak. Bapak pukul sebab Aidil mintak duit untuk masuk drama kelas. (No. My father hit me for asking money to join drama kelas)

Adi: (stunned)

Aidil: Tapi tak per. Aidil suka kelas drama. Aidil nak jadi pelakon, (It’s okay. I like drama class. I want to be an actor)

Needless to say, I was too stunned to even respond. But that totally changed the reason why I chose to teach drama for a living. To bring about a change in students who failed to see a reason to be in school. That is one of the reason why they introduced drama in schools anyway. To help students discover themselves, express themselves and learn how to convert their non-academical talents to the fullest advantage.

Fast forward again to end 2010. I took on a teaching assignment at a neighbourhood school. 18 students from NT class. (this is the lowest grade of the cohort in a school). Class starts at 0800hrs. School located an hour plus away from my house. First class, only 4 students turned up. I felt like cancelling but i persevered and pulled through the first and then the second. Subsequently the number grew to 14 students in that class. They put up a performance on the twelfth week of lesson. And at the end, a boy came up to me and said

Boy: Cher. We are a difficult class, right?

Adi: I’ve had worse.

Boy: Really meh?

Adi: Okay fine. Your class is difficult.

Boy: Cher.

Adi: Yes?

Boy: Actually the whole class want to thank you for not giving up on us.

And just like that, it made the whole journey so fucking worth it. And just like Julia Roberts in Larry Crowne, I am now always seeking for that spark in every class I teach- a life that I could turn around.

2011-07-18T04:04:00.000+08:00

What is your worth?

What if one day you woke up
Only to find your value reduced
To nothing more than that of a cash cow
Will you still believe in life?

Why won’t you look me in the eyes
And tell me my worth to you
The truth hurts much
But so do the lies...

Every words that you say
Every concern you express
Was it cos you really cared
Or were you afraid to lose your investment?

Every conversation we ever had now
It all circles around dollars and cents
Whatever happened to blood runs thicker
I guess they were all ideal talks.

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
I guess they forgot to include
Dollar for dollar...

2011-06-27T00:22:00.003+08:00

Counting my blessings…

26/6/2011—A date that left an imprint in my life. Not a dent, just an imprint. Oh wait… imprint is still a tad too dramatic. Okay. Fine. It is a date that I will remember. Yeah.

You see, prior to that, I had this mega plan of starting up a business with two ladies. They were strong headed, and strong willed. Fast forward through all the complications, I was then left with just one business partner, whom turned out to be someone very different from the one I perceived. I used to see her as someone who is kind yet firm, creative and almost anything positive.

But June has been a month full of revelations. And I thank god for that. For in June, I witnessed her dark side. Cunning, back-biting, and vicious. And to drop her as a business partner, required me to summon up all the evilness in me, cos frankly despite my bitchiness, I just didn’t have the heart to see her disappointed face. Especially since I know, behind that icy cold persona, lies a lonely girl. But I thought it had to be done that way.
And so I dropped her out of the business idea.

And looking back, I am just thankful that I am not lonely. For I have real friends who have stuck by me through my darkest hours and make life a little bit more tolerable. You all know who you are… I could never thank you guys enough…

P.s: They say you are lucky if you can get more than a handful of people who will stuck by you through thick and thin…

2011-06-24T07:46:00.001+08:00

Adi-ENFP

The Inspirer

As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.

Jungian functional preference ordering for ENFP:

Dominant: Extraverted Intuition
Auxiliary: Introverted Feeling
Tertiary: Extraverted Thinking
Inferior: Introverted Sensing

2011-06-24T07:38:00.000+08:00

How about some Zodiac reading at un-earthly hour?

#AquariusMan-#CapricornMan: Commitment may be an issue in this match. Your partner likes it early in a relationship, while you're more likely to be comfortable with a more casual arrangement, at least until your partner has become a very close friend.

You both can be very stubborn though in different areas, sometimes making reconciliation difficult.

You both take career and work seriously, though for different reasons - your Capricorn is largely building future security and status. This can of course be a very valuable quality in a long term partner.

The final challenge in an Aquarius Capricorn relationship is that there's a good chance you will each be focused on aspects of life outside of each other. To a degree you each tend to ignore a relationship in the absence of a 'needy' partner who encourages you to focus on it. This one is easily fixed however by dedicating romantic time together regularly

2011-06-23T09:39:00.001+08:00

Remark of the day…

Imagine that you just woke up. You went to the toilet. Sleepy and groggy. Hair is messy. You sat on the throne, about to take a dump. Then your phone went “…You’re on the right track baby, you were born to survive”. You picked up. It’s your best friend.

You: Hello?

Best friend: Hello?

You: Can you hear me?

Best friend: (beat) Adi?

You: Yeah?

Best friend: Girl?! Asal suara kau jantan eh pagi pagi gini? (Translation: Girl?! Why your voice so man in the morning?)

2011-06-23T09:20:00.003+08:00

Enough is Enough

I really love the vocals of these two singers... But most of all I love the song to bits...

Barbra:
It's raining,
It's pouring,
My love life is boring me to tears,
After all these years.

Donna:
No sunshine,
No moonlight,
No stardust,
No sign of romance.
We don't stand a chance.

Barbra:
I always dreamed
I'd find the perfect lover.
But he turned out to be
Like every other man I loved,
I loved.

Both:
Raining (raining)
Pouring (pouring)
There's nothing left for us here.
And we won't waste another tear...

Donna:
If you've had enough,
Don't put up
With his stuff,
Don't you do it.

Barbra:
Now, if you've had your fill,
Get the check,
Pay the bill,
You can do it.

Donna:
Tell him to just get out,

Barbra:
Nothing left to talk about.

Donna:
Pack his raincoat, show him out,

Both:
Just look him in the eye and simply shout:

Enough is enough
I can't go on,
I can't go on no more no.
Enough is enough
I want him out,
I want him out that door now.

Enough is enough (ooh, owww)
Enough is enough
That's enough, (ooh yeah)

Donna:
If you've reached the end,
Don't pretend
That it's right,
When it's over.

Barbra:
(it's over)
If the feeling is gone,
Don't think twice
Just move on,
Get it over. (over, over)

Both:
Tell him to just get out,
Say it clearly,
Spell it out:

Enough is enough is enough
I can't go on,
I can't go on no more no.
Enough is enough is enough
I want him out,
I want him out that door now.

Enough is enough (ooh, owww)
Enough is enough
That's enough (ooh)

Barbra:
I always dreamed I'd find
The perfect lover.
But he turned out to be
Like every other man I loved. (I had no choice from the start)
I loved, (I've gotta listen to my heart)
I loved. (tearing us apart)

Both:
Enough is enough is enough
I can't go on,
I can't go on no more no.
Enough is enough is enough
I want him out,
I want him out that door now.

Enough is enough (ooh, owww)
Enough is enough
That's enough (ooh, yeah)
No more tears...

No more tears (no more tears)
No more tears (no more tears)
No more tears (no more tears)
No more tears (no more tears)

I've had it, (no more tears)
You've had it,
She's had it. (no more tears)
He's had it. (no more tears)
She's had it.

He's had it.
I've had it. (no more tears)
I've had it.
He's had it.
She's had it.

2011-06-19T00:30:00.000+08:00

Tears...

Tears-
Some say they help wash the sins
Cos with tears come pure remorse
Others may see it as a form of conceit.
When one shed a tear
It’s to express an extreme
Either bliss or sufferings—
Either ways, tears are beautiful
Cos it helps to express what lies deep inside.

2011-06-17T01:34:00.002+08:00

I'm Only Gay

Okay. With Pinkdot around the corner, I have already shared with you how I came out to my mother—Which didn’t really go that well. If you’re still looking for other ways to come out to your parents, here is another suggestion: DO IT MUSICAL STYLE!!

2011-06-13T13:02:00.000+08:00

New Words I learn...

Anonymity-
1. the state or quality of being anonymous.
2. an anonymous person: some fine poetry attributed to anonymities.

Nepotism
— n
favouritism shown to relatives or close friends by those with power or influence

[C17: from Italian nepotismo, from nepote nephew , from the former papal practice of granting special favours to nephews or other relatives]

2011-06-12T00:55:00.004+08:00

Lines I missed hearing...

While going through the arcane collection of scripts, I came upon this script. It brings back memories- Both good and bad. And.. I don't know... I guess I miss those times when we could come together and do something good...

*to the tunes of Britney Spear's Hit Me Baby one more time (you know the verse where she sang my loneliness is killing me..yeah that part!)*

Mira:
I hate it when I can’t smoke or drink
Or shag the Arab honcho on the sink
I think the office needs a condom dispenser
I’m pregnant with the kid of the Indian musketeer.

2011-06-11T21:05:00.001+08:00

A Comment from the Ex's new BF

MY Ex’s current bf wrote a comment to me (how exciting, right?)…

Hi Adi,

I dont know you personally but Alex told me a lot of good things about you and never spoke bad of you. I think its just ethical if you would do the same, unless you keep high level of insecurities within yourself which drives your impeccable senseless rants.

Adrian

And so the following is my reply…

Hi Adrian,
I like the fact that you tried to tell me that you don’t know me personally and yet you used judgemental words and phrases like “insecurities” and “impeccable senselss rants” on me. Do you usually judge people you don’t know; I find it amusing. Let me just try to break it down to you in the most peaceful way I could, cause personally I think this is between me and Alex, and it IS EXCLUSIVE in that sense. You get what I mean?

Let me just start off by pointing out to you, my blog header. Do you notice what it says? “Random Ramblings”. Yes. Readers have been warned that this blog is going to be about MY ramblings or in your words—“senseless rants”. If you’re not cool with it, why read on, right?

Next, the reason I was upset. You see, when I was in a relationship with Alex, I would have done anything for him. I would fly to KL to see him for an hour and then fly back to Singapore for rehearsals just because he said he was upset. I starved myself just so that I can lend him some cash to pay for his education. I would have died for him. And to find that he has been cheating behind my back with the help of Grndr; it was devastating. But I guess you would never be able to get to that state cos from the way he described you, you seem to be the type who would prioritise yourself first. You would rather spend your money on braces than to spend it on bringing him to Singapore for PINKDOT. Yes. I know quite a fair share about you, cos when he has problems with you, he doesn’t run to his friends. He runs to me.

Now let’s talk about ethics. Your definition is when someone talks nice thing about you, you’d have to do the same. I guess then, if your partner stays faithful to you, it is only ethical for you to do the same, right? If he doesn’t, why should ethics even be applied in the first place?

And every human being feels insecure at one point or the other. So why put other people down for being insecure? Do you see me put you down when you feel insecure of yourself? Especially during the part where you feel like you’re a rebound? (yes, he called me up when you guys have this issue too). Do you see me being judgemental when you find the need to spend so much money to straighten up your teeth cos you were apparently insecure about your teeth? So let’s be ethical. I have never put you down, I don’t think you should.

And when it comes to me referring to you as being a toy, I did not mean to say you are not good enough for him. Who am I to judge, right? That phrase was totally meant to point at how he treated people. I am sure you are good enough for him. I mean he referred to you as “the better [me]”. And I believed him cos you can dance. I can’t. You have the patience to design web pages. I don’t. But then again, I wondered why he did not say that you are a better man or you’re a better partner? Instead, he chose to use me as a comparison. I just find the comparison not very healthy cos you will never be credited for your own strength or qualities. You will just be this lingering figure hiding behind my shadows. I don’t know… just my personal “ramblings” again. If you’re not happy with it, the “X” or RED button in the top right corner is your friend…USE IT.

Yours Sincerely
Adi

2011-06-11T10:34:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, in the midst of it all, you just have to sit and meditate.... *closes eyes and breathes calmly and chants* ooooooommmmmmnnnn. Ommmmmmmmnnnnn. Omnomnomnom. *in goes the kaya toast* ommmmmmmmnnnnnn. Ommmmmmmnnnnnnnnnn. Omnomnomnom. *in goes another kaya toast*
*repeats*

2011-06-08T00:43:00.001+08:00

Wanna bet?

I just want to make a quick note here. I can bet my arse, with pinkdot around the corner, he will surely call/ message me up telling me that he is gonna come to Singapore. Not because he wanna find out how I am doing, but more of to show off his new toy. So typical of him. So how? You wanna bet on that?

2011-06-07T09:34:00.003+08:00

IF i were King of all Candies

My friend took a photo of me in Candylicious and she tagged it as Queen of all Candies. I believe she tagged it wrongly. It should have read: King of all Candies. But that is not the point. Somehow, her tag kinda strikes a thought; What if I were the King/ Queen of all Candies?

IF I were the King of Candies
I will make sure that instead of sugar
I put other healthier substitutes
to make my candies just as sweet
These substitutes may be pricier
But I guess it pains me too much to see
These children undergoing
Sulfonylureas, Biguanides , insulin shots and amputations in the future

If I were the King of all Candies
I will ensure that the cure to cancer
is mixed into the candies
So that children will not need
To go through chemotherapy, radiation therapy, surgery
Or financial assistance or deaths

If I were the King of all Candies
I will mix my ingredients to be totally
Free from fats and harmful addictive substance
Or additives that allow me to save a few cents
At the expense of these children

If I were King of all Candies
I will make candies available to everyone
Regardless of race, nationalities or wealth or skin colours…

2011-06-04T21:49:00.001+08:00

The thing about running from... your emotion

The thing about running away from your emotion is sometimes, you feel so liberated—free from all that baggage. Free from the years of heartbreaks. Free from all the problems. And you just keep running. Running with work. Running with your adizero shoes. Keep running till you can run no more. Till the point of exhaustion…

That is when your years of baggage and emotions consume you. Bit by bit, they tear you down, till you lie on the floor, lifeless. At this point, you can either fight for your life back, or you can just let yourself be consumed. I choose to fight for my life back. Cos I never find any worth in throwing my life away just because some idiot decided to bring me down!

2011-06-03T08:00:00.004+08:00

How I came out to my Mum

Two days ago, a friend asked me if my mother knew about me being gay. I told her that I did come out to her, and she ended up not talking to me for two months plus. And now she pretended that the incident didn’t happen. This friend of mine asked how exactly did I come out to my mother and I told her that she will never believe me. After I told her the story, she laughed non-stop. Truth be told, I actually found it funny now. Yes. Back then, I felt it was really tragic. But looking back at it now, the incident is actually funny. I mean who would ever thought a burnt dish rack could have actually caused me to blurt out loud to her that I AM GAY! Here is how the story went…

Settings: Adi just finished his morning class at Tampines North Primary School. Adi checks his handphone. 9 missed calls—--all from mum. He called her. She picks up.

Adi: You called?

Mum: Did you try to burn the house down?

Adi: What?

Mum: I woke up, and I saw the whole dish rack was blackened!

Adi: I tried to warm up the goring pisang, and the pan caught fire. And then I took the pan and threw it into the sink. And I turned on the tap after that and…

Mum: And you put water to the burning pan?! Asal kau bodoh?! The fire become big lah like that! Aiyoh! The older you get, the more nonsensical things you do!

Adi: I didn’t do it on purpose. It just happened.

Mum: And then after do all these nonsensical things, never want to admit.

Adi: Didn’t I just explain to you what I DID in the morning?

Mum: I am not just referring to today lah! Everytime you do something stupid, where you got want to admit?! If I never found out for myself…

Adi: What did I not admit to?

Mum: A lot of things lah…

Adi: I am sick and tired of you saying that I never admit to my wrong doings! So now out with it! What wrong did I do that I never admit to?

Mum: A LOT OF THINGS!

Adi: LIKE WHAT?!

Mum: DON’T YOU DARE RAISE YOUR VOICE AT…

Adi: I WANT TO KNOW WHAT EXACTLY DID I DO THAT…

Mum: DON’T THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING RELATIONSHIP WITH GUYS! DON’T THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING SEX WITH GUYS!

Silence.

Adi: I have been telling you “NO. I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GUY!” But you still pushed on and insisted that I did. So now I am going to tell you straight; YES! I AM HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GUY! Aku tidur dengan semua jantan!! So now what? Are you happy to finally hear the answer that you have always wanted to hear, huh? Are you happy now?!

Mum: You just love it when I no longer talk to you, right?

Adi: YES. I LOVE IT!

Mum: You are just waiting for the opportunity when you no longer have to deal with me…?

Adi: YES. VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH IT…

Mum: That’s why for the longest time, you have been wanting to move out, right?

The next few dialogues sequence happened simultaneously. Both characters just speak their lines, not listening to the other at all.

Mum: Muhammad Mahadi Bin Jamaludin, you listen here. For the past 28 years, I have always tolerated your behaviour. I carried you in my womb for 9 months. Have you ever asked me how difficult it was to give birth to you?! Have you ever spare a thought for your mother who is unwell right now, and might even die in the next few minutes? Yet, you don’t care. You just do as you please. Like your family don’t even exist anymore! You just shut up! I am sick of listening to you already! Listen to me! Shut up I say! Shut up! I say… (mum hangs up the phone)

Adi: Yes. I have always wanted to move out cos I don’t find any point in staying at all. Would you care if I were to get hurt when the pan caught fire? No! all you cared for is the dish rack that you bought from DAISO that costs you $2. I could have caught fire and just die, and you wouldn’t even care. So tell me, what is the point of me staying in the same house as you.. Hello? Hello? Hello?!

Mum hangs up the phone. Adi finally realises that there were at least 10 makciks at the school gate looking at him. He comforts himself by telling himself that the tudung on the makciks’ head is too tight and that they didn’t just hear the exchanges you had with mum on the phone. But from the looks on their faces, they have obviously heard everything. Adi walks away hastily before finally sitting on the side curb to cry. The rain falls shortly after that. (Very the SEMBILU moment)……

So yes, moral of the story? My mum is very random….

2011-05-08T03:30:00.001+08:00

Sleepy.....

I wanted to blog but then I got sleepy...ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........

2011-04-28T18:02:00.001+08:00

Fat Ass

3 years ago, I was a regular gym rat in Bukit Gombak gym. I went there almost everyday, and you’d probably see me running like a mad dog on the treadmill. You’d probably notice that my muscles were more defined, and when I smile, you’d probably wish you have my jawline.

3 years ago, a 14 year old boy became a regular in Bukit Gombak gym and because we always bumped into each other, he’d usually approached me to assist him with lifting of some weights, and once in a while attempted to strike conversations by asking me the same question kinda questions like “ Abang, how long have you trained?” or “How many times do you work out per week?”

3 years after that, that same boy saw me again in Bukit Gombak gym, and his first question was “Abang, what happened to you? LAST TIME you have a nice body!”

3 years ago, I had the motivation to push myself over the limits in physical fitness. I hit the club every weekend. I love the way they looked at my body. That was who I was back then. And the number oif calories I burnt on the dance floor, it helped to keep me in shape.

In conclusion, maybe I should start hitting the club again…

2011-04-15T18:19:00.000+08:00

in•se•cu•ri•ty = [in-si-kyoo r-i-tee]
–noun, plural -ties.
-lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt: He is plagued byinsecurity.

Insecurity is a bitch, personified. I used to get turned off by other halves who are insecure. I always think to myself: Why the fuck are you so insecure? Have I not be faithful enough? What? Are you blind? Can’t you see that I love you more than anything else?

Instead, I should have thought: Is there anything I could have done to make him/ her less insecure? What is the cause of the mistrust in the first place?

Now I am infected by the insecurity fever. Now I see the flipside of the coin. I have never been insecure. Probably the tide has changed. I am not in my peak now. Not smart. Not good looking. Nothing. Thus, am always afraid of losing out. Am always afraid of being put down. Am always afraid of myself…. Enough said.

2011-04-10T11:16:00.003+08:00

What is Singapore made up of

I saw this casting call being put on artscomm, and it read like this;

We are currently casting for an upcoming television commercial and are
urgently looking for the following:

Shoot date: 19-20 or 20-21 Apr 2011
Loading: 2 years (Cable, Cinema, Home. Internet - facebook etc.)
Cilent: M1
Production house: Two Oceans Film Co

1. Customer Service Officer

Chinese male, mid 20s
Pleasant looking, speaks Good English, great smile, good skin, good teeth, warm

Hrs: 2 days, 10 hours each day.
Budget: 5K

2. Counter Girl

Chinese female, mid 20s
Nice, not too young, with a bursting wild/fun streak, could be idiosyncratic
Might have to dance, but don't have to dance well, cock, funny or
clumsy dance moves will do.

Hrs: 4 hours in the morning, another 4 in the evening
Budget: 1.5K

3. Virus Guy (who has virus infected in his computer)

Chinese male, late 20s or early 30s
Fun, maybe newly married, pleasant looking

Hrs: 6 hours
Budget: $800

4. Boss of new company

Chinese male, 30s
Mature, nice-looking

Hrs: 4 - 6 hours, half-day
Budget: $ 800

5. Electrician

Chinese male, mid 30s or early 40s
Interesting face, maybe scruffy
Requires understated acting

Hrs: 4 - 6 hours
Budget: $800

6. Pedestrian A

Chinese male, early to mid 20s
Pleasant looking

Hours: 4 - 5 hours
Budget: $400 -$500

7. Pedestrian B

Chinese female, early to mid 20s
Pleasant looking

Hours: 4 - 5 hours
Budget: $400 -$500

Ya Ting
Casting Coordinator
+65 9880 4429

Enough said for now... All the more reasons not to subscribe to M1!

2011-01-10T04:04:00.001+08:00

I love you

As the cold night wind blow today,
I can’t help but to think of you
What are you doing over there?
Are you having a sweet dream?
Are you smiling as you dream of all the beautiful things?
I kept thinking of all the times you slept beside me
The smooth warm breath of yours on my shoulder
I watch as the curves on your body move with every breath you took
Those innocent looking eyes, closed.
What could you be dreaming of?
I smile.
I look forward to seeing those beautiful eyes open once again
So that I can declare my love towards you
So that I can tell you how much I love you
I love you so much…

2010-12-19T21:11:00.008+08:00

Things to look out for...

in the next few weeks:

The little Fockers (according to Yahoo Movies, it is opening 22nd December 2010)

The Tourist (according to Yahoo Movies, it is opening 29th/30th December 2010)

Burlesque (according to Yahoo Movies, it is opening 11th January 2011)

The Swordfish + Concubine

MY BIRTHDAY- 26/1/2011 (29th birthday, not yet stepped into the big 3+.. PHEW!)

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2010-12-11T16:59:00.002+08:00

A nice quote from a book about euthanasia

Walter: You see, my boy, in hospitals, on the many benches, sit estranged... fathers, sons, mothers, husbands...incapable of allowing each other to die. "Let him see me once more. Let him open his eyes once more." This they say to their doctors. In that "once more", love will be shown, finally exchanged.

2010-12-11T16:42:00.002+08:00

Some new German words learned...

"nanu" is an undefinable German sigh or explanation; "opa" is German for grandfather.

2010-12-11T16:29:00.001+08:00

Two meanings

e·piph·a·ny
[ih-pif-uh-nee]
–noun, plural -nies.
1.
( initial capital letter ) a Christian festival, observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi; Twelfth-day.
2.
an appearance or manifestation, esp. of a deity.
3.
a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.
4.
a literary work or section of a work presenting, usually symbolically, such a moment of revelation and insight.

hedge
[hej] Show IPA
noun, verb, hedged, hedg·ing.
–noun
1.
a row of bushes or small trees planted close together, esp. when forming a fence or boundary; hedgerow: small fields separated by hedges.
2.
any barrier or boundary: a hedge of stones.
3.
an act or means of preventing complete loss of a bet, an argument, an investment, or the like, with a partially counterbalancing or qualifying one.
–verb (used with object)
4.
to enclose with or separate by a hedge: to hedge a garden.
5.
to surround and confine as if with a hedge; restrict (often fol. by in, about, etc.): He felt hedged in by the rules of language.
6.
to protect with qualifications that allow for unstated contingencies or for withdrawal from commitment: He hedged his program against attack and then presented it to the board.
7.
to mitigate a possible loss by counterbalancing (one's bets, investments, etc.).
8.
to prevent or hinder free movement; obstruct: to be hedged by poverty.
–verb (used without object)
9.
to avoid a rigid commitment by qualifying or modifying a position so as to permit withdrawal: He felt that he was speaking too boldly and began to hedge before they could contradict him.
10.
to prevent complete loss of a bet by betting an additional amount or amounts against the original bet.
11.
Finance . to enter transactions that will protect against loss through a compensatory price movement.

Definition by Dictionary.com

2010-12-03T05:10:00.000+08:00

It's Frustrating!

Imagine yourself to be in my shoes. It’s 5am. 2 hours ago you had just fallen asleep. Meaning: You’ve only had 2 hours of sleep so far. You woke up after a fucked up nightmare. You know it was a fucked up nightmare and that is why you’ve woken up. The fucked up thing is that you cannot remember what the fuck the nightmare was all about.

You tried your darn best to go back to sleep, but sleep just eluded you. You turned and twisted on the bed hoping to gain back that blissful position that puts you back to Lala Land. Nothing works.

There is a rumble to your stomach. You got up, went to the kitchen and the only thing available was French toast from the day before. You’re hungry, and lacks of sleep. You’re angry.

The next thing you know: You were throwing your laptop into your bag (not literally throw; more of putting it gently into the bag), followed by your keys, handphone and wallet. You walked 1km to the nearest shopping center hoping that the Mc Donald’s would be open. It wasn’t open. You took the train, wearing white t-shirt, shorts and no undies one station northward. You alighted and went straight to the 24hour Mc Donald, typing furiously on your laptop while having hotcakes ( which are basically pancakes) and coffee.

You are still fuming mad, but you tell yourself: Nothing is gonna fuck up my day today!

2010-11-19T18:07:00.001+08:00

What Palaniuk said to me in his latest book...

Palahniuk did it again. Another master piece. “Tell- All” –difficult to read at first with all the incessant reference to all those famous people whose half of their names just eluded my memory. But I must mark these momentous moment where I am inspired. Two of his quotes just blew me off and I just have to write it down here, in this virtual world where I know, will remain for as long as the server will allow it…

“The most cunning compliments”, playwright William Inge once wrote,”seem to flatter the person who bestows them even more than the person who receives them.”

The infamous advice Busby Berkeley gave to Judy Garland, “if you’re still having bowel movements, you’re eating too much.”

And to get rid of dead cells from your soles, just use pumice stone…

2010-11-19T12:50:00.000+08:00

Interesting Finding

Every country likes to think their coffee is the best, but it turns out the Singapore blend of coffee might have something to it after all. According to a recent study, drinking two cups of strong locally brewed coffee a day may protect habitual cigarette smokers from developing advanced colon cancer.

But before you go dowse the health nuts in coffee dregs and cigarette butts, the study cautions that it doesn't mean people can continue smoking tobacco and avoid disease if they drink coffee.

The study was funded by the U.S. National Cancer Institute and conducted by researchers from the University of Minnesota on over 60,000 Singaporean men and women, aged 45–74 years, who lived in HDB housing estates and were either of the Hokkien or Cantonese dialect groups. "Singapore Chinese prepare coffee in a way that likely preserves the putative chemoprotectants, cafestol and kahweol, that have been the primary focus of basic science investigations of coffee and cancer prevention," said Sabrina Peterson from University of Minnesota. We don't have the faintest idea what cafestol and kahweol are, but they sound very important.

Peterson explained that Singaporeans primarily drank coffee made by boiling ground dark roasted coffee beans with water in a pot, letting the grounds settle, and then pouring the liquid through muslin cloth filters to strain. Due to significant trapping of cafestol and kahweol found in the cloth filters, Peterson’s team assumed that these two compounds are present in significant amounts in common Singapore coffee, and may protect frequent coffee drinkers against the development of advanced colorectal cancer.

In other words, kopitiam kopi (coffeeshop coffee) is potentially good if you smoke. Just don't overdo it -- smoking can cause a lot of other lethal things besides colorectal cancer. My 20-a-day buddy's breath is just deadly.

Read more: Two Singapore coffees a day keeps that cancer away... Maybe | CNNGo.com http://www.cnngo.com/singapore/none/nih-study-coffee-drinking-and-smoking-singapore-chinese-855682#ixzz15lPlE8VQ

2010-10-12T14:40:00.002+08:00

I love you

Lying beside you
I am always preoccupied with
Watching your every breath
Wondering what you’re dreaming of behind
those closed lids.
You look so calm
Like as if you feel so safe beside me;
I feel safe beside you
Safe enough for me to
Love you and devote my life to you.
All the curves on you,
I trace with my finger.
I press my face against yours
I sniff in the fresh scent from your hair,
And I gently press my lips against yours.
As you open your eyes gently, you smiled.
I love you.

2010-10-11T01:32:00.000+08:00

If you had not been able to read up on me for a bit of time, fret not, cos I had not been having the time to update it either. But after a series of inspiring-thought provoking moments/rubs with people from around me, I just had to relieve the itch of blogging again. Oh yes, don’t trust the dates written next to these few updates.

* She Made my Day
* Gay= EXTRAVAGANT?
* EAT PRAY LOVE
* Unlike Some People

I wrote them in one of the inspiring night/ morning and decided to spread it around the blog, so that It looked that like as if I had been updating my blogs religiously, when it actual fact… well, you and I, we both know best.

I also believe that by spreading it around the blog/ dates, the update is broken up to different parts and thus easier for read. The one moment that kinda struck me was a conversation with a…erm… boss? You see this lady, I see her more of a colleague rather than a boss. However, her wealth of experience and the fact that she pays me, kinda puts her in a higher level than working colleague. Whatever it is, a conversation with her and fellow drama trainers last Sunday, kinda made me think about this whole notion of me or you (yes, the one reading this blog) being a living encyclopedia for the next generation. What does she mean by that?

Okay to start it all off, let me re-tell you the story that she told us trainers on that day. Oh by the way, this lady that I’m referring to, she is Rila Melati. IF you don’t know her, please feel free to click here.

She was telling how some current NUS students are now mailing her to seek permission to use her thesis paper as a research material and a basis for their upcoming essays, and she was telling us that back then, when she wrote her thesis, she had no basis or references to cite. So she ahd to go to the primary sources and interview people from the arts industry; namely Noor Effendi Ibrahim, Jamal and so forth. And she was telling us how surprise she was to find out that twentry years later, after she graduated, these students are asking her permission to use her thesis as a basis. The question is; shouldn’t there be more resources out there for these students to use as their basis. And she had a discussion with some theatre practitioners and they found it alarming at how twenty years down the road, Malay Theatre seem to have frozen and stood still against time. It had not change that much and most of the movers and shakers aren’t shaking as vigorously as the way they shakened things up back then. And she said that it could be due to our Malay culture where sharing is rare. And i8t could also be the rigidity of the Malays to change their perception towards the arts as just a form of entertainment that distracts rather than an area where the Malays could have excelled and made millions from. Therefore, this nice lady had told us, that as practitioners, we should do our best to stand up for what we believe in (and she quotes Alfian Saat in this) and write down our experiences into a form of a journal or blog or some written materials that these future undergrads could us as a basis when they wanna write a thesis on Malay cultures and theatres… She said in us, we hold that wealth of experience, so why not share it to one day change the perception of the malay community towards arts and entertainment- It’s not just glamour, glitz and fame; it’s lots hard work and tears and sacrifices.

For me, I would like to see myself one day, finally being able to convince my parents that this is what I’m meant to do: it doesn’t pay THAT well for me to get a car or a bungalow, let alone a HDB flat; but still it is enough for me. And that I am lucky to be able to do what I am passionate about as a career…

2010-10-10T02:19:00.002+08:00

Gay= EXTRAVAGANT?

I love you Philip Morris- A film about a man named Steven Russell, who is happily married to Debbie, and a member of the local police force when a car accident provokes a dramatic reassessment of his life. Steven realizes he's gay and decides to live life to the fullest - even if it means breaking the law. Steven's new, extravagant lifestyle involves cons and fraud and, eventually, a stay in the State Penitentiary where he meets sensitive, soft-spoken Phillip Morris. His devotion to freeing Phillip from jail and building the perfect life together prompts Steven to attempt and often succeed at one impossible con after another.

I am sure by now (if you had been a frequent reader that is) you’d have this thought of “Oh, this is the part he is going to talk about himself. Quite true. I mean, the fact that I am writing about it in my blog is enough said about how much I really, really like this movie. So I am not going to go further with a review of it, cos there are gazillion reviews on the net anyway. Instead I should write to you, telling you how much it meant to me in.

The day that I truly find myself being a gay, I did not try to live my life to the fullest. But I can’t deny about the whole notion of gay life is equivalent to expensive lifestyles. Al those pre-requisite of looking good, and wearing something presentable (always) and gym till you wear have look like a Ken Doll. Gays make love like rabbits, or am I just speaking for myself? Whatever it is, it is just expensive, no matter how hard yopu try to argue around it. And you thought you could save a little money from all those non-existing school fees and nanny fees and tutions fees in your life. Pft…

But then I do realise something, that be it, straight, or bisexual or gay, whatever you choose to classify me back then and now, I tend to have a self destructive behaviour right after a break up. I don’t do slashing or drug overdose, mind you. Just harmless cough syrup to sleep. And lotsa sex with random strangers. And clubbing all week round. That was when I was still…erm…a little less matured. Now, with every life changing event, I would just sit by the beach and either ask myself why or what went wrong. Blaming the other party is never a habit for me. In that sense I am an introvert I guess?

Just for your info, I sat for this test of personality and my personality is ENFP- Extrovert, Intuition, Feeling and perspective. This means that I speak out loud based on my gut feelings and I always look on the flipside of a coin; I don’t go by the book--- Which of course drives a lot of corporate people crazy. And probably explains why I cannot work in the office in the first place.

And back to the movie, go and watch it! For a flat fee of 10/8/6 dollars (depending of where and when you watch the movie), you get lots of drama and warmth; totally worth the money! Oh yes, bring lots tissues with you as well…

2010-10-09T02:21:00.002+08:00

EAT PRAY LOVE

Eat, Pray, Love. Sounds like an autobiography of Adi Jamaludin. But then again, if it is my own autobiography, I would have changed it to Eat, Movies, Lan gaming, Love. Of course, if I were to write an autobiography of myself, I am not sure if it would ever make it to the shelves of any bookstores (they would cite unhealthy alternative lifestyle), much less spinned-off into a movie.

Eat, Pray, Love is about A married woman realizing how unhappy her marriage really is, and that her life needs to go in a different direction. After a painful divorce, she takes off on a round-the-world journey to "find herself". Liz Gilbert (Roberts) had everything a modern woman is supposed to dream of having - a husband, a house, a successful career - yet like so many others, she found herself lost, confused, and searching for what she really wanted in life. Newly divorced and at a crossroads, Gilbert steps out of her comfort zone, risking everything to change her life, embarking on a journey around the world that becomes a quest for self-discovery. In her travels, she discovers the true pleasure of nourishment by eating in Italy; the power of prayer in India, and, finally and unexpectedly, the inner peace and balance of true love in Bali. Written by Sony Pictures.

The thing I like about this movie is the way I find myself so able to relate with the Liz Gilbert. Two years ago, I was attached to this wonderful guy who had saved me from being blinded to the wonderful effects love has in one’s life. I was jaded back then, after failing like a gazillion relationships. I thought true love is like a unicorn; nothing but a myth.

It was all well at first. But as time goes on, I find our relationship became colder. It all started when he said that he was in a predicament. Yes. Such big word. I remembered staring into his eyes blankly and my only response was “What is a predicament?” And he treid to explain himself out, in a way that was too complicated for me to comprehend. So I asked him to cut to the chase, cos I know beneath all that fluff and big words, there is an underlying problem. And he cut to the chase and told me that he didn’t know what to do for my birthday. One eyar prior to this, he bought me a teddy bear and baked a homa-made brownie as a birthday cake for me. I was elated at the sight of the brownie he made for me; I was sure that iw as the happiest man on Earth. Fast forward to a year after that, he somehow had lost his muse and not know what to do for my birthday. IT reminded me of a radio commercial I heard recently which sounded like this;

Narrator: One month after marriage…
Wife: Darling, you’re home just in time. I have cooked the pasta that you liked so much!
Husband: Oh. Wow! That’s so sweet of you. I love you.
Wife: I love you too

Narrator: 6 months later…
Husband: IT’s been so long since I last had my favourite pasta, will you cook some tonight?
Wife: Erm… I’m feeling tired. Another time, okay?

Narrator: 1 year later
Husband: Honey, will you be cooking…
Wife: I am stre3ssed out today! Can you just buy home something to eat?!
Husband: But.. (wife hangs up the phone) Hello? Hello?

Narrator: Do something for your loved ones today…bla bla bla…

And of course, I knew back then that there was something fundamentally wrong with our relationship then. I mean, if you really love a person, of course, you wouldn’t feel weary of them, would you? I knew a break up is around the corner, but everytime, the thought crossed my head, I will tell myself, of how wonderful he is as a life partner. But one night, it struck me; those wonderful memories are things of the past. Lately, when I treid to think of all the wonderful experiences we shared, it was all from 6 months back. Lately, nothing has been pleasant. We quarrelled every night. And that is when, I thought, I had to move on, cos prolonging the relationship is just prolonging pain for both of us.

But still I was plagued with guilt. I mean two eyars we’ve been together, and now it’s like I suddenly gave up? I mean I have not been a perfect angel for him either. Thinking about it, I have been equally monstrous towards him, with all that verbal abuse that I flung at him. And I guess this is where my guilt stems from. The fact that I have been nasty towards him in the relationship. And the fact that I broke up w8ith him on facebook, was something really uncalled for, which I have been trying to seek forgiveness till this day.

So back to the movie, this woman, she felt just as guilty as I am. Throwing that fairy tale dreams that turned into something that is haunting; so haunting that she thought she had lost herself. I thought I had lost myself. She went to Bali to find relief; I went to Sentosa.

But the moral of the whole story is all about forgiving oneself. Cos the more you wait for the other party to forgive you, the more burdened you would feel. In time to come, he would forgive you and see that this is all part of HIS blueprint for your life…. (emergency exits included in all corners, but you’re not allowed to take that option).

2010-09-27T03:53:00.001+08:00

Unlike Some People

The show went okay. I knew I could have done better, if I had picked up advices from different people like Mr Loke, Jonathan Lim, my EX (FARHAN), and erm, all the other teacher back in school: READ MORE, they would all say in unison. The problem in this production was that I ahd so much barrier in terms of language. Because of that, I was not able to get the idiosyncrasies and jokes that was so finely sewn on into the scripts and dialogues of each characters.

But that aside, on the last day during the matinee show, as I was looking for a friend who was supposed to watch the show, an auntie with her daughter came to me and told me that she enjoyed the show. I was quite taken aback that she actually brought her daughter along, since the show has so much vulgarities and all. But that wasn’t the reason I remembered her so well. Half way through the conversation, she said she needed to take her leave and she said “Aileen, say bye to uncle.” MY face changed from tat of a full fletched smile to a constipated smile (I learnt the subtle differences while putting up this show). I quickly said good bye to both of them and walked away thinking “FUCK! I need more moisturiser!”

2010-09-19T14:27:00.001+08:00

She made my day...

“If she has nightmares tonight, it’s because of me,” I said to my friend, before going to have some fun with his little girl.

“May I join you?” I asked the little girl as she was having her lunch. She glanced at me briefly, before completely ignoring me.

I sat myself down at the table, plotting my next move.

“Hmmm… I bet your name is… Claire!” I asked.

She looked up, beamed, and nodded her head.

Score!

It wasn’t long before she warmed up to me. I soon found out that she’s 6 this year, and she likes pink, and her favourite animal is the unicorn. And because she’s so cute, I successfully resisted the very strong urge to tell her about my favourite animal. (the dad was sitting beside me by then.)

The dad noticed that she was uncharacteristically friendly.

“Must be because gor gor (elder brother) is very handsome right?” he said to her.

She smiled shyly and nodded her head. The dad and I both laughed.

Such good taste at such a young age.

Just to confirm, I asked her again,

“Am I handsome?”

She nodded her head again.

-Taken from TinkerTailor

2010-08-30T02:47:00.000+08:00

Took this off from JY's blog without her permission of course...

Harlie: One day, I may have to pay $10,000 worth of taxes loh...

Me: Will you still talk to me if you have to pay $10,000 to pay in taxes?

Harlie: What do you think I am, a snob?

Me: It's not a matter of whether you're a snob or not. It's a matter of whether you'll have the time next time...

2010-08-25T07:00:00.000+08:00

IT has been such a long time…

….since I last wrote a composition, also now commonly referred to as fictional narrative. BUT, due to a new assignment that I have decided to undertake, I now have to reacquaint myself to writing composition again. And this time, it has to revolve around…. (drum rolls)

GLOBAL WARMING

And after 5 weeks of teaching students from this particular school, I was horrified to finally look at their final product. So I took the liberty to alter some of their works. The problem is, I am torn between making it sound flowery or straight to the point, but with an impact. And after much pondering, this is what most of their stories would sound like:

“Run! Run!” the crowd were screaming at the top of their lungs as they scattered
in search for a safe place away from the volcano.
Volcano eruptions have
been very frequent around the areas. It is probably due to global warming. The
change in climate must have completely changed the eruption patterns for these
volcanoes.
At that point of time, John and I were still sleeping in our
bunkers. He was wearing a flowery pyjama, while I was just wearing singlet and a
pair of shorts. Our hair was messy and greasy from the night training. We didn’t
have the energy left after the training, so we did not bother to wash our hair
before going to bed. I was awakened by the screams from the crowd. I woke up. I
felt groggy. I looked around. Something is unusual.
The smell of ashes was
strong as houses near our bunkers. I got up from my bed quickly. I rushed to my
window and looked in horror as nearby houses were slowly burnt down by hot lava.
The air in the bunkers began to get stuffy and hot.
I tried waking John up.
He didn’t move an inch. I had no choice but to carry him on my back. He was
heavy. I could barely run properly with him on my back. Still I struggled on to
get both of us out of the bunker. I continued running , trying my best to
concentrate on getting us to a safe place. I tried not to look back. Somehow I
knew that the lava would have reached the bunker and burnt everything down to
ashes slowly. My breath become heavier and slower as I slowly began to feel
exhausted. My knees were about to give way. “Just a few more meters,” I told
myself. The lava is still hot behind my heels. I tried to run faster. In my
head, I was thinking of all the ahppy times I had with John. I continued running
till I saw a high ground. I began my slow uphill climb. The lava still flowed
persistently behind me. The higher I get, somehow, the cooler I felt. When I
looked back, I realised that the lava is slowing down to a stop.
After
ensuring that we are both at a safe place, I dropped John on the ground. He woke
up. He looked dazed. He asked me what happened. I told him that I would narrate
the whole story to him, once I caught my breath. I collapsed to the ground as I
slowly tried to catch my breath. In front of me, the houses are all still
burning. I was just glad that we were both safe.

Funnily, I was glowing upon the completion of the stories…. I have no idea why.

2010-08-22T21:52:00.000+08:00

What have I learnt?

With every year of Ramadhan, I will try to look back and see how much I have grown. Apparently, not much. There are still too many things that I have failed to understand. Too many things that I thought I knew, but I don’t. Too many things that I thought I had it all figured out, but I wasn’t anywhere near.

I still remembered coming home almost every night, being on the verge of tears, feeling stupid. Months back, when Jonathan Lim was asking for suggestions on what to stage for the 2nd production of Young and Wild, I suggested that we should try to stage a play which deals heavily on relationships, thinking I would be able to ace it without much difficulty given the record of the many relationships/ flings/ dates that yours truly has been through. The keywords are “I thought”.

In actual fact, this 2nd production is one of the most challenging production that I have ever been in. As mentioned, things that I thought I knew turned out to be all wrong. I know no shit about having a relationship. It’s of no wonder that after two years, he wouldn’t want to hold back, when I said I wanna a break up.

Looking back, I guess I was the asshole in the relationship. Yes, I cried foul, saying that he was focusing too much on his work, and I felt that the relationship is getting cold. On the flip side of things, could I have been too clingy?

I still remembered snapping at him on many occasions, just because he failed to text me. Couldn’t I have closed an eye to that?

I still remembered snapping at him cos he changed our plans at the last minute, and that we had to change vacation plans. Couldn’t I have just re-arranged the plans? After all, if we were planning to have a lifetime relationship, we would have many more years with each other to carry out our vacation plans, no?

I still remembered snapping at him on so many occasions, most of which I don’t even have a good reason to be snapping. I could have tried to just be a little more understanding.

I don’t wish for a patch up. I just wished he would listen to me, when I said I’m sorry… Cos I really mean it this time…

Now that I am given a new chance to be in love again, I told myself, treat this as a new experience …totally…no comparisons, cos no two persons are the same. Just like in drama trainings, every class/ productions, you learn new things. You just need to be open to situations, and re-act accordingly.

2010-08-20T01:01:00.000+08:00

Character Flaws

I am listing all the flaws that I have…

. too big an ego ( I quote an ex saying “If the world is put next to your ego, the world would look so small”)

. always want to prove that I am right, and could never come to terms with the fact that there are times that I can be wrong

. always tend to be very competitive

.very clingy

. always feeling insecure of the his other half

. can be quite a workaholic

. have a hard time coming to terms with adjusted plans

…one might wonder, if I ever would make a good boyfriend.

I hope I could be one to Alex Chai Su Haw.

2010-07-24T21:38:00.001+08:00

The Journey through the Yellow Bricks to meet Oz for Inspiration- 25 ways to get over your EX!

Okay. I lied. There is actually no mentioning of Oz in this post. I just thought I should try to SOUND clever, but now reading the title makes me cringe. It sounded like a constipated inspiration; you just try to force it out. 24 hours. 8 hours down. And I am still not anywhere near to writing an introduction/ a first line to my script. I see Harlie writing furiously. JY, walking about in search of that perfect strategy/ plot to write her script. Me. I’m just busy on Facebook, and catching up on sleep. And once in awhile I will distract JY with one of my mindless drama games, such as, imagine you’re a writer who is about to write a book entitled “Getting Over Your Ex 101”, and you are writing it in 25 chapters, each one describing one way to get over your EX, what would the 25 ways be?

And so here is the list that we both come up with (no prize for guessing which one is from yours truly):

1. Sticking his/ her pictures on a dartboard and throw darts on the pictures.

2. Listen to angry songs like “So What?” by Pink or “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morissette. (Did I get her name right?)

3. Have sex with somebody else.

4. Brag about how some guys/ girls are splurging on you via Facebook, MySpace or Blog.

5. Throw all things that belong to/remind you of your EX.

6. Delete pictures from laptop, but keep it in some remote hard drive where you won’t access so much.

7. Write witty lines of your won against your EX/ feelings for your EX. And then produce it into a song, and make millions from it.

8. Tell your friends dirty little secrets about your EX. E.g. he has small penis or lose asshole/ vagina (whichever floats your boat)

9. If #8 fails to make you happy, you can go ahead and share these secrets with his/her parents or colleagues or Boss, via email, Facebook, etc. Be CREATIVE in your ways!

10. Starve yourself, so you will look better than your EX

11. Do the things that your EX hate about you. E.g. Use non-approved words such as Cunt and or Lan Jiao!

12. Hire an ASSASSIN.

13. If you don’t have a budget for #12, you can always DIY—Cheap knives and poisons available at your nearest convenience stores.

14. Team up with a friend who is assigned to woo your EX and then break his/her heart about a month later. After the success, remember to not celebrate it over popcorn or drinks: Remember #10

15. Run him/ her over with a car, or any vehicles. Bicycles and trolleys included.

16. Blame it on the gender/ race. E.g. Fuck ALL the WOMEN in the world kinda attitude.

17. Psych yourself to think that you are the one dumping him/her.

18. Seduce his best friend/ siblings/ Boss or worst- come- to- worst, his/ her FATHER or MOTHER. You can also include uncles, aunts, grandfather or grandmother if necessary.

19. Hack into his email/ Facebook and send random messages to his circle of connections. It need not be nasty emails. It CAN be a nice email, professing “his/ her non-existent love”.

20. Start being chummy with people he hates.

21. Throw his possessions into dumpster/ sea/ ocean. The sea and ocean is not recommended though, cos it is not environmentally friendly, and those fish/ sea creatures did nothing to deserve to be part of the hell treatment.

22. Kidnap your EX and float him/ her on a sampan/ canoe to some random islands, and hope he/she is badly burnt before he/she reaches an island. And then gets bitten by 100 of mosquitoes.

23. Torture him/ her. Be sadistic. This WILL NOT WORK if your EX has a fetish for BDSM though.

24. Go back in time and stop his mother from conceiving him/her, ala TERMINATOR.

25. TREAT HIM/HER LIKE A TOTAL STRANGER, and soon enough they will become a stranger to you.

2010-07-23T03:01:00.000+08:00

Suicide

I was reading an entry by Jiayuan on suicide, and she has this wonderful quote from a writer about suicide:

"It was ironic, really - you want to die because you can't be bothered to go on living - but then you're expected to get all energetic and move furniture and stand on chairs and hoist ropes and do complicated knots and attach things to other things and kick stools from under you and mess around with hot baths and razor blades and extension cords and electrical appliances and weedkiller. Suicide was a complicated, demanding business, often involving visits to hardware shops.

And if you've managed to drag yourself from the bed and go down the road to the garden center or the drug store, by then the worst is over. At that point you might as well just go to work."

— Marian Keyes (Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married)

And it sets me thinking of the things that you could do to yourself to have a quick ending, and the consequences of it;

* Jump- off a building – This is a selfish act. Imagine the cleaners having to clean up the splattered brain and the spilled out inert and the violent splashed of shit.

* Jump onto an MRT track – Same as the above PLUS you disrupt other people’s life, by disrupting the train service, and disrupting company’s productivity (cos workers arrive late), and disrupting the nation’s economy (company not doing so well, due to productivity level being affected), and totally taint the nation’s reputation (cos people will now not only think we are prone to flooding, they will also think it is stressful to live here, and foreign country might not want to even invest in our nation).

* Slit your wrist – think of the stain you will leave on the bed sheet; the owner might not appreciate it.

* Poison, hanging yourself – refer to the excerpt from above.

* Drown yourself – It’s not environment friendly, ESPECIALLY in SINGAPORE, cos we have limited water supply.

* Hold your breath till your lungs burst and your brain cells die – The most recommended.

2010-07-21T02:03:00.000+08:00

After reading Harlie's blog, I have decided to enter one of my entry on the "I Write Like" analyzer and got David Foster Wallace.

I have no idea who he is, but decided to check on him, and found that...

he wrote books that i have not read at all.... sigh.

24 hour playwright competition is around the corner. JY is researching. Harlie's been practicing. I've been lazing.

Am goona just partaaaay there! Can't wait.

p.s: this entry sounds bimbotic, but read it once again, you can see lotsa contents in between the lines. I am gonna be a David Foster Wallace. So don't doubt me! ROAR!

2010-07-20T23:50:00.000+08:00

Things that I took for granted

I cried. Wait. Not really cry. Erm… tear up. Yes. That is more accurate. I tear up when I read this from a friend’s blog;

I remembered you dropped by my workplace with the richest chocolate cake and greeted me "Happy Birthday" 6 months after my birthday. My then colleagues had left the office, so you ate some of the cake with me.

I would have never imagined this friend to remember such small gesture. Even my parents don’t seem to remember my good sides. But somehow, she does, and even blogged about it. I was touched beyond words. So I decided to do a little spin off for her. And it goes something like this;

Dear friend, I remembered you providing me a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, when I broke up with my first EX-bf. I remembered you lending me your laptop when my laptop crashed two weeks before my final year project is due.

I also remember how you tried your darn-est to reconcile things between me and a director friend back in poly. I remember how you always offered me food back then when I didn’t have the money to feed myself. I remembered you spending hours on your laptop to help troubleshoot a problematic html code that I didn’t manage to solve.

I remembered you telling me jokes to cheer me up when I am depressed. I remembered you giving me a hug whenever I cried cos things don’t go according to the way I planned them. I remembered the many times that we used to quarrel—most of them are petty small stuffs. I was (maybe still am) petty.

I remembered you telling me to look on the bright side when I cried and told you about my last break up. I remembered you telling me that nowadays, you only get to know about my life through my blog...and I was thinking to myself “oh my god! Have we sunk to that low a level in our communication? Don’t we communicate anymore.”

And I realised that it was my fault. I was too busy. Always on the run. Always chasing my own dreams. And I forgot things that really mattered to me.

And I am sorry for that.

2010-07-17T02:21:00.000+08:00

It all started from a morning fire

Setting: Outside a primary school. Andrew was walking out of a primary school. He met a teacher, who happened to be his ex’s close friend( Let’s call her R). They talked.

R: Eh… What are you doing here?

Andrew: I was just teaching one of the class. (tries to remember which class exactly, but failed). It’s a young journalism course.

R: Financial course?

Andrew: Erm… No. Some composition thingy.

R: Ah.

Andrew: Okie. See you around.

Andrew checks his handphone. 3 missed calls—--all from mum. He called her. She picks up.

Andrew: You called?

Mum: Did you try to burn the house down?

Andrew: What?

Mum: I woke up, and I saw the whole dish rack was blackened!

Andrew: I tried to warm up the goring pisang, and the pan caught fire. And then I took the pan and threw it into the sink. And I turned on the tap after that and…

Mum: And you put water to the burning pan?! Asal kau bodoh?! The fire become big lah like that! Aiyoh! The older you get, the more nonsensical things you do!

Andrew: I didn’t do it on purpose. It just happened.

Mum: And then after do all these nonsensical things, never want to admit.

Andrew: Didn’t I just explain to you what I DID in the morning?

Mum: I am not just referring to today lah! Everytime you do something stupid, where you got want to admit?! If I never found out for myself…

Andrew: What did I not admit to?

Mum: A lot of things lah…

Andrew: I am sick and tired of you saying that I never admit to my wrong doings! So now out with it! What wrong did I do that I never admit to?

Mum: A LOT OF THINGS!

Andrew: LIKE WHAT?!

Mum: DON’T YOU DARE RAISE YOUR VOICE AT…

Andrew: I WANT TO KNOW WHAT EXACTLY DID I DO THAT…

Mum: DON’T THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING RELATIONSHIP WITH GUYS! DON’T THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING SEX WITH GUYS!

Silence.

Andrew: I have been telling you “NO. I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GUY!” But you still pushed on and insisted that I did. So now I am going to tell you straight; YES! I AM HAVING A RELATIONSHIP! So now what? Are you happy to finally hear the answer that you have always wanted to hear, huh? Are you happy now?!

Mum: You just love it when I no longer talk to you, right?

Andrew: YES. I LOVE IT!

Mum: You are just waiting for the opportunity when you no longer have to deal with me…?

Andrew: YES. VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH IT…

Mum: That’s why for the longest time, you have been wanting to move out, right?

The nest few dialogues sequence happened simultaneously. Both characters just speak their lines, not listening to the other at all.

Mum: Andrew Daud Kobat, you listen here. For the past 28 years, I have always tolerated your behaviour. I carried you in my womb for 9 months. Have you ever asked me how difficult it was to give birth to you?! Have you ever spare a thought for your mother who is unwell right now, and might even die in the next few minutes? Yet, you don’t care. You just do as you please. Like your family don’t even exist anymore! You just shut up! I am sick of listening to you already! Listen to me! Shut up I say! Shut up! I say… (mum hangs up the phone)

Andrew: Yes. I have always wanted to move out cos I don’t find any point in staying at all. Would you care if I were to get hurt when the pan caught fire? No! all you cared for is the dish rack that you bought from DAISO that costs you $2. I could have caught fire and just die, and you wouldn’t even care. So tell me, what is the point of me staying in the same house as you…Hello?

Andrew sat down on the curb. Cars passed by. It was raining. He stared blankly.

2010-07-12T21:38:00.000+08:00

Let’s talk about security…AGAIN.

Talking about security… I wanna talk about the something that I found was fundamentally wrong with me during the relationship. I was insecure. That was the root to the problem. I thought about it.

When Farhan and yours truly was dating back then. From September till November, everything was smooth sailing. Cos we both just simply do not put any expectation to one another. We meet only when both of us are free to meet. It is just a coincident that he was working so nearby, that we managed to meet almost every day. On the 11th November, we just finished watching AvenueQ in the Espalanade. We then met up a common friend for supper. Side note: this si the same common friend that match made us. During supper, the friend asked an awkward question: Are you guys together yet? Both of us didn’t give a clear answer. Cos we both didn’t really know how to describe the stage we were both in.

Next day, I asked to meet him for a drink at StarbuckS One Fullerton. Then I popped the question, of why he was unsure on what to answer when the friend popped the question the day before. Needless to say, he turned back at me and asked me the same question as part of his answer. So, I told him that is because I wasn’t sure if we are together yet. Cos there are so many things to consider. And this was how the conversation went that night(more or less, according to what I remember)…

Adi: So how come you didn’t know what to answer?

Farhan: I don’t know. You didn’t seem sure yourself? So why is that Adi?

Adi: I like us being together. And I wouldn’t want it to change. I guess I’m scared of losing what we have right now?

Farhan: you read my mind.

Adi: I am scared that once we are in a relationship, everything will change. I am scared of the expectations that come with it.

Farhan: Okay.

Adi: but then again, I know somewhere inside I have fallen for you, and if I don’t make the move, someone else might just make the move on you, and then I will still lose you. So you know what? Next time, if anyone asks you if we are attached, just say yes. You are attached to me.

And that was it. Farhan used to tell everyone that I didn’t even propose. In fact I didn’t even ask. I just exert that he was mine.

But that incident just made it clear what was flawed with me. When I said that I was afraid that I might not be able to meet up his expectations, I guess I meant to say I was afraid that I WAS THE ONE who would set high expectations in the relationship. Expectations that has led me to my own depression. Expectations that have caused us so much tension. That is my flaw in every relationship. Oh god! I am so fucking useless in relationships!

2010-07-05T23:33:00.000+08:00

A picture that floods memory bank

Someone tagged this picture on my facebook today. It was taken like a couple of years back. when I looked at it, my only comment was, “God! I used to be that thin!”

I miss that body. I miss that defined jaw line. I may sound superficial to you now. Let me finish my line before you judge. Of all the things that I miss most was my old self.

There was once upon a time, I was very much like this frozen tower. Nothing alive could come near me. I was that GUARDED. Loneliness isn’t something that I was afraid of.

I could do anything on my own. I could eat alone. Watch movies alone. Even talk to myself, when I am alone. It was this time, that I felt that I don’t need anybody. I can live on my own. I have my own life in my hand.

I miss that moment. I was independent. I was strong. I was never fragile. If you try to hurt me, I will pay back 10 folds; out of generosity, I would say.

I miss me….

2010-06-29T22:35:00.000+08:00

How do you know if you’re in love?

Sometimes knowing if you are in love is hard, especially if it is your first time. Here are eighteen ways to tell if you are falling in love which I obtained from the internet.
1. You are comfortable. and secure in your relationship. You trust that your partner won’t hurt you and there is no need of suspicion or jealousy.
2. You have remained together through good times and bad.
3. Thoughtful things are done just because it makes both of you feel good.
4. Neither of you make sacrifices, only compromises.
5. Your significant other has told you of their deep feelings, and they are returned.
6. Your affections for your partner make you feel special and good about yourself.
7. When there is a fight, you usually make up after only a few hours and agree that nothing is more important than both of you expressing your true feelings, even if they cause conflict.
8. You and your partner feel no need to test each others feelings or loyalties.
9. You can be yourself when with your partner more so than anyone else.
10. You’ve forgotten your ex.
11. You can’t stop thinking about your partner.
12. You care about your significant other more than anything.
13. You find your partners quirks charming.
14. You have great chemistry.
15. You don’t notice others as much.
16. You love spending time together.
17. Other priorities take a backseat.
18. You start thinking about your future together.

2010-06-17T02:35:00.000+08:00

Who am I?

Isn’t it such a cliché, seemingly easy question to answer? Truth be told, I am still seeking the answer to this question. And just when I thought I was the only one to be asking this, the rcent course that I went for proved me wrong.

In the middle of the course, the lecturer popped the question; Who am I?

Many attempted to answer the question. Needless to say, there were many variations to answer this question. Some attempted to cut pieces of pictures from magazines and told the rest that those pictures represent them. Some crumpled papers, formed shapes using papers to represent them. There were many explanations to this little creation in the attempt to answer the deceivingly simple question: Who am I? And these are the ones that stick in my mind

1. In life, I always tried to make do with what I was given. Nothing is too simple, up to the point that it cannot be used. Bad experience, good experience, I tried to learn from them .I think in life, one must be humble enough to accept things as they are. And that is what I am.- quoted from Raimy.

2. I make this empty shape with this paper. I didn’t really think what I wanted to do with it. I just kept folding until I get this shape. I guess that is who I am in life. I don’t usually look at the end, I just go through the process, and make the end destination a surprise. That is what I seek in life. The chance to be surprised. That is who I am.- Janice

3. Life is confusion. I am confused, and therefore, I pieced these things together, without planning any forms or shapes. Cos I never planned for the future. I am still quite confused as to what I want in life- Quoted from Sing

And last but not least, a quote from your truly,

“I am still stumped whenever I am asked this question. To me, this is no one definition to it. People always change; every minute, every second. One moment, you’re happy, and the next moment, you’re sad. Each different moment, you’re a different person. To make matter worst, there are times, when you tried to mask things to appear to be something you’re not. I am always guilty of that, you know; trying to appear confident, when I am all insecure inside; trying to appear all knowing when I have no idea to what I was doing; trying to appear fine when I am hurting inside. You know what I mean.

And thus, I can never quite answer the question as to who am I? That is if, I try to micro manage everything and look too closely to details.

But I guess, if one learns to look at the bigger picture, he/ she will realise that those are the different facets and parts that makes him/her a person. The insecurity, hurt, appearing confident, appearing fine- those are all parts of me, as a person. I am who I am. It just takes a little bit of time, to uncover all parts of me”.

And speaking of looking at the big pictures, and make do with what you currently have, I realised that even after numerous break ups and 28 years of living, I usually failed in these two areas. I still remember being all upset in the flyer at the start of this year. I pulled a long face when we missed the fireworks, even though he was trying his best to make do of what we currently have.

Sweet, if you’re reading this, I just want you to know that I am sorry. I screwed up. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I love you so much. Please be mine again…

2010-06-14T22:32:00.000+08:00

Translated version of Kids say the darn(est) things, so do ADULTS

Setting: In Jurong Point. Adi and Hairul was walking around. About close to 11pm.

Hairul: Adi, your type.

Adi: Which one?

Hairul: That Chinese boy; you like Chinese boy what?

Adi: Where got?

Hairul: But you like the decent Chinese boyt type right?

Adi: Babe, that one your favourite.

Hairul: Where?

Adi: The one at the counter.

Hairul: (disgust) Eek! Adi! I don’t want eh! So hariy!

Adi: How you know?

Hairul: you looka this arm, so hairy! Usually this type, the dick is hairy but small!

The girl in front of us turned around, glared and went to make her order to the hariy manger at the counter.

Adi: She understands Malay lah sial!

2010-06-11T01:31:00.000+08:00

Kids say the darn(est) things, so do ADULTS

Setting: In Jurong Point. Adi and Hairul was walking around. About close to 11pm.

Hairul: Eh. Adi kau nyer type, 3 o’clock.

Adi: Yang mana sak?

Hairul: Yang sana Cina tu lah. Kau kan suka budak budak Cina.

Adi: (laughs)Mana ader sak?

Hairul: Tapi kau suka kan muka masa decent decent nyer kan?

Adi: Beb. Tu kau nyer favourite.

Hairul: Maner?

Adi: Tu yang kat counter tu.

Hairul: (disgust) Eek! Adi! Aku tak nak eh! Yang tu mesti semua berbulu.

Adi: Macam maner kau tahu?

Hairul: Kau tengok ah tangan dier, berbulu siyol. Confirm kalau macam gini kan, konek berbulu tebal, tapi konek kecik.

The girl in front of us turned around, glared and went to make her order to the hariy manger at the counter.

Adi: Dia melayu lah sial.

2010-06-07T12:50:00.003+08:00

Did the Angels Cry for us?

I wonder if the angels cried for us
When we part on that very morning
It seems to be raining every other day
since the time when we said goodbye

I thought I knew what I was doing
I thought I'd made the right move
But why does it hurt so much
to see you walked away without looking back

As the cliches went on
No sparks could fly from just one stone
No sound could reverbrate from just one hand
I wouldn't be able to make it through without you

My world was serene with you by my side
There is the occassional storm now and then
but we have always been able to weather it through
we made it good for the past two years, we did

I don't know what went wrong
what used to feel right,
now that feeling's gone.
I'm feeling miserable,
when i should have felt joy
My chest feels heavy
and i couldn't breathe
How ironic it is
since now that i have space
I wish you were here
to fill up my life
I'm missing your embrace,
I'm missing your kisses,
I'm missing your warmth
Baby, i miss you.

Angels Cry- Mariah Carey, feat Ne-Yo

I shouldn't have walked away
I would've stayed if you say
We could've made
Everything ok
But we just

Threw the blame back and forth
We treated love like a sport
The final blow hit so low
I'm still on the ground

I couldn't have prepared myself for this fall
Shattered in pieces curled on the floor
Supernatural love conquers all
'Member we used to touch the sky
And

Lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I
Said goodbye
I felt the angels cry

True love's a gift
But we let it drift
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

C'mon babe can't our love be revived
Bring it back and we gon' make it right
I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive
As the angels cry

I thought we were forever and always
You were serenity, you took out the bad days
No one treated you right, but it was okay
I did something stupid, and you'd still stay with me
But you could only call for so long
During the one you claim love's rung
Before too much is enough
you look up and find your love's gone

And we were so good together
How come we could not weather
This storm, it';s just too bad
But why did we say goodbye

Cause lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I
Said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
But we let it drift
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

Come on baby can our love be revived
Bring it back and we're gon' make it right
I'm on the edge just trying to survive
As the angels cry

Baby I'm missin' you - I..
Don't allow love to lose - don't let our love
We gotta ride it through - uu
I'm reaching for you - baby im missing you

Baby I'm missin' you - u
Don't allow love to lose - u
We gotta ride it through - we gonna ride
I'm reaching for you - hey and i' promise youu

Lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I
Said goodbye
Felt the angels cry

True love's a gift
But we let it slip
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

2010-05-15T12:38:00.001+08:00

Love till it blinded me...

I used to think that
Love is all I ever needed
From you
From you and
From no one else.

I’d given the world
I’d given the sun
I’d given the moon and the stars and
Whatever that you needed to
Just stay beside me

How did it happen
I haven’t had a clue
It was gone
Just as mysteriously as it appeared
All that lovin
Now gone, gone
Missing, missing,
And I haven’t got a clue
Till one day, I found myself
Missing you and only you.

then i woke up, and i realised...

2010-05-11T12:18:00.001+08:00

Letter unsent- to MUM

Dear Mum,
I don’t know how to say this to you. I know that deep inside I am never a perfect son. And I know I would never be able to. No matter how much I tried and try. There will always be that single thing that you will never be happy about.

I want to tell you how much it hurts everytime you say that I am the one son you can never depend on. I want to tell you so much about how I tried. I want to tell you how much I am sorry for not being able to be what you want me to be. I wanted to tell you how much I am sorry for being such a disappointment. I am sorry for the hurt I have caused you, for treating you like shit, for never be able to see of all the blessings that came my way cause of your rpayers.

But most importantly, I wanted to tell you that I love you, for being there always, no matter how much you know of the fact that I can never be perfect. I really wanted to tell you that I love you.

But I forgot how to….

2010-05-04T00:23:00.001+08:00

Taken from an email:

These days, the way that I sleep simply says, "I am happy to be single and spending five to seven hours sprawled out in the center of my bed alone."

At other points, my tightly squeezed eyes and curled-up body would have screamed, "I know the baby will wake up/someone will start snoring/the alarm will begin blaring as soon as I finally, finally, finally get to sleep."

Years and years ago, the corpse-looking college student still in her clothes would have mumbled something like, "Finals. Boys. Beer."

Our lives, the amount of sleep we get, and how well we actually rest during those nighttime hours may change drastically over time. However, one sleep researcher says that our body position in bed could say something about who we are, not just what else is happening in our lives.

Professor Chris Idzikowski, director of the Sleep Assessment and Advisory Service, says that a study of 1,000 Brits revealed that the six most common sleeping positions are indicative of personality types.

If this sounds ridiculous (and honestly, I'd love to see information on this study and the analysis fleshed out further than any of the reports I could find), consider that Idzikowski says it comes down to body language.

"We are all aware of our body language when we are awake but this is the first time we have been able to see what our subconscious posture says about us," Idzikowski said. "What's interesting is that the profile behind the posture is often very different from what we would expect."

The research also links certain sleeping positions with health risks. Some aid digestion while others spur on snoring and restlessness.

Here are the six common sleeping positions and correlated personality traits and health implications, according to this study.

Fetus position - A whopping 41% of participants sleep in this curled-up manner. Women are twice as likely to rest like this and it is listed as the most common position. These sleepers are said to have a tough exterior but are still sensitive and may appear to be shy but warm up quickly.
Log position - If you sleep on your side with both arms down, you are a social, easy-going person who is trusting, sometimes to the point of being gullible. The study showed 15% of people sleep like a log.
Yearner position - A close third is the side-lying position with both arms out in front of the body, with 13% of partipants sleeping like this. Yearners are noted to be open-minded and still cynical, suspicious, and stubborn about sticking to decisions once they are made.
Soldier position - These sleepers lie on their backs with arms down and kept close to the body. This 8% study is said to be reserved, quiet, without fuss, and hold themselves and others to a high standard. Soldier sleepers have a higher likelihood for snoring due to the flat-back position, which may not cause them to wake up often but may result in a less restful night's sleep.
Freefall position - Those people who lie on their bellies with arms under or wrapped around a pillow with head turned to the side, make up 7% of the population studied. Freefallers are brash, outgoing, and are very uncomfortable with criticism.
Starfish position - Sleepers who lie on their backs with arms up near their head or the pillow account for 5% of participants. These people are good listeners, helpful, and are uncomfortable being the center of attention. People who sleep in starfish position are more likely to snore and to suffer from a poor night's sleep more often.
If you think you are one of those people who move through all of these positions, that's not likely to really be the case. Idzikowski said the research reveals most people stay in the same position all night and only 5% lay differently night by night. Also interesting is that the study showed only one in ten people cover their bodies entirely with a blanket, with most people exposing an arm, leg, or both feet.

2010-05-01T15:56:00.002+08:00

Random

First of all, thank god, blogspot is a very generous website/webhost. After such a long absence from blogging, they still kept my page, AND did not delete a single part of it. So, thank you blogspot.

There have been a lot of times, after reading a book, I look forward to reading another piece of that same author's work. And to my dismay, that same author did not write any more books until a few years later.

Now I understand. There will be times, when you feel that suddenly you ran out of words to say/ write. It's not that you don't know what to write. In fact, you do know what to write. It's all in your head. But somehow, when you try to express it out, the words don't do the thoughts justice. The sentence structure seems off. And you think really hard for a very long period of time, and somehow, things just don't click the way it should. It doesn't sound as nice or feel as right as your previous writings. For a very long time, you try to express these thoughts out, until you finally burnt out/ give up.

And then you didn't visit these thoughts for a very long time. You let them die, or rather you let them remained frozen in one corner of your mind, until one day, they cathc you by surprise so great that it jolts you to take up the pieces again...

2009-11-06T03:56:00.002+08:00

Sleepless Night

Honestly speaking, I am damn sleepy. You know how sometimes when you do something out of…erm… random? Wait. That’s not the word. Erm… passion? That doesn’t quite fit the thing I had in mind. Erm… impulse? Not really the exact word, but I guess it would do for now. Words are really eluding me faster than the MRT. Sigh. Anyway, to get back on track (MRT and tracks...get it get it get it?), yes, I went out for a movie with Hairul and Suhaila and Gab and Afwan. Here is the story, I made plans with Hairul like days before today to meet. But it was all tentative and nothing was so called firmed up. Then today, while I was in Jag’s car- he was supposed to be driving me home. While the car was nearby Vivo, I called Hairul, and that was when he reminded me of the meeting today. I dropped off at Seah Imm, the hawker center opposite of Harbour Front Shopping Center.

We were undecided on where to go though. Somehow, in the end we decided to watch Jennifer’s Body( which I don’t recommend anyone to spend money on). Movie ended and I was home at 3am. I need to wake up by 5 to get out of the house by 5.45am to get to Chai Chee lane for a 7.30am show.

So that explains why I am unable to sleep and has therefore resorted to blogging instead. I need a better life. Are those eye bags I’m seeing underneath my eyes. Sigh.

2009-11-04T11:41:00.002+08:00

Dusting it up...

*smiles* The one thing that is so nostalgic to me. A reflection of how much I have grown ( or otherwise). A collection of thoughts and bitchy-ness over the past years. From poly years to working years. To be honest, I missed blogging, and even though there are new ways of expressing thoughts and expressions, i.e shout outs in facebook and twitter, I just prefer to go back to where it all begins. Blog.

The intention to go back to blogging has always been in my mind. IT’s an intention that takes a little bit of time to realise, cos of time constrains. A lot has been happening. Good times. Bad times. So far, I have always been sharing lots of thoughts with my sweet. But recently, there have been times, that I had some difficulty to express what I’m really feeling inside. I guess that was the thing that made me stop blogging. I thought I no longer need to express myself online cos everything that I want to say falls on attentive ears of my sweet. Not that he has been listening any less now, it’s just that, I have a harder time trying to express myself out nowadays. Words seem to elude me. *smiles* And plus he seems to be busier these days and I don’t want to burden him with my incessant yappings.

And also, back then, when I stopped blogging, I thought I had sort of found myself. Okay. This si the part that I have to go back a little behind time and explain the very main reason why I started blogging, apart from the fact that I was encouraged to do so by my MRS. One of the reason I picked up blogging is because I felt the ened to put my thoughts into writings so that i9c an go back to reading it, and thus have a better understanding of what I was thinking/ reflecting back then. So, in some ways, itn was my very own personal way of finding myself, finding my exact identities. As actors, your self indentity some times gets diminished, by playing the lvies of other people. And thus confusions and depression. I mean there were all new to me back then cos I was never an actor and performative arts were new to me in poly. Wait. I think I just created a new word there, or so said the dictionary in words XP. Back to the point, I thought earlier this year, I kinda found myself again, but then now I realised, that maybe I didn’t really find myself, and thus the need for me to go back to blogging now. It may seem a little complex. But to cut things short, I think it is best for you to know now that I just need to go back to blogging for some complicated issues I am facing right now. Let’s just leave it at that for now.

And as I am typing this, I just realised that the time registered 11:39. That would mean, I will need to apck up now and make my way down to Qiaonan Primary School, for an assembly show. Call time: 1200 noon. I am 20 minutes away from location. I need to pack up now. Shutting down…and GONE!

p.s: I didn't have time to run the spelling and grammar check. Read with CAUTION!

2009-05-11T13:50:00.001+08:00

To my beloved sweet

When it rains, I miss snuggling under your armpit,
When it gets warm, I miss the hands that wipes away the perspiration,
When at night, I miss the warmth from your body,
In the day, I miss your sunny smiles,
When it gets tough, I miss your reassuring voice,
In happy times, I miss your laughters,
I miss you with every breath I take...

Adi Jamaludin

2009-03-05T11:13:00.001+08:00

I kiss a GIRL...I mean grannies?

Came acroos this today and I just thought of sharing it with you guyz...

2009-02-24T23:22:00.002+08:00

Panic... GASP!

It is less than a month away. Everyone is talking about it. Dinner and Dance 2009. To be held at Suntec Convention. Theme: Shanghai Decadence. Everyone else have gotten their costumes. Be it rented or bought. They have already gotten it. Everyone except me. Sigh. What the hell is DECADENCE? Wait. I already know the meaning of it. What I don’t get is what is so decadence about Shanghai?

It was easy last year. Look at what I was wearing...

2009-02-23T23:44:00.000+08:00

This bathroom at a certain somewhere seems really empty when i looked at it today. Hmm,...i wonder why?

*hint hint to someone*

2009-02-22T22:05:00.000+08:00

Have I...?

Have I told you how much I love you?
The silence might be a killer for some
But not between the two of us
When we are not talking
I just like looking at you
Wait! Let me change that
I love gazing at you
Every creases on your forehead, between your eye brows
When you are stressed with school work
And then the signs of relief
After every completion of assignments
I am secretly kept on an edge when you have that frown
But the anxiety eases
With the relaxation of your facial muscles
Which without a doubt would
Turn into a smile
And then it would put a smile to my face too
As juvenile as this may sound
I love you, with all my heart
I do

2009-01-04T12:22:00.000+08:00

How did I end up here?
Why did I let this happen to me?

I used to be so independent
Never needing anybody
Making love was just for fun
Practical was I
Making decisions
Would just revolve around me
And then I guess
I became complacent
Thinking that no one could get to me this time

But I was wrong you see
Someone did get through to me
The smile, that face that glows
Everytime we come face to face
The ruffled hair
The worries that make him
so human and real
i cannot help but to just
let myself fall.

I used to despise clinginess and mushiness
Like i say, i was practical
But now, i am anything but practical.
The thing i despise
They are me now
I need you
I want you
I have you, but that is never enough
I know...

I am now in an unchartered territory
The big mystery that science cannot even explain
I am...
In love.

2008-11-08T00:39:00.002+08:00

What we do when we are bored? ?(Re-edited)

I realised that the last time i tried to upload a video on October 15, it was not able to play. So here is the re-edited version of the last entry. Enjoy!

Side note: It's in malay. So you might need an interpreter

2008-11-05T06:24:00.002+08:00

Pretentious – Political Stance

Was sitting at Starbucks one night with a certain someone and overheard some conversation in the background about some office politics.

Stranger 1: If she is so f***ing unhappy with the whole environment, she should have just move on to another place!
Stranger 2: Yeah. I really don’t get her you know. Complaint so much.
Stranger 3: she should have just move to the office in Hong Kong, and then she would know how to appreciate things here.
Stranger 1: Such an ungrateful b****!
And the conversation went on and on and on...

That was when it suddenly struck me on the politics between artistes. Usually, politics between artistes are more under wrap and less obvious. All thanks to their ability to “act” and cover up their hatred and despise for one another with lots of smile and read-between-the-lines-kinda-conversations. It is similar to that of gay politics. In fact, the only thing that ever comes close to artistes’ politics would be of those between gays. An example would be of such:

Gay 1 and Gay 2 bumped into each other outside a club called, Play. they talked...

Gay 1: Hey.

Gay 2: Oh my god! Long time no see. (Oh my god! Of all people, fate made me meet you?!)

Gay 1: How have you been? ( Please tell me that you’re not attached and that you’re leading a miserable life!)

Gay 2: Oh. Life is okay. As per normal. ( I hope you’re life is more miserable than mine)

Gay 1: You’re here alone? (Considering that you’re dressing up like a slut and looking desperate, i bet you’re oh-so-pathetically-single)

Gay 2: No. I am with my boyfriend. (That ought to have wiped off your fake smiley face bitch!)

Gay 1: Where is he? (You’re such a liar!)

Gay 2: Oh just give me a minute. I’ll go and get him. (Where is that fucking bf of mine when i need him). There the one is red. (My BF is soo cute, you would just have to admit that your life is now more miserable than mine).

Gay 1: Which one? ( i hope it is that bald and fat-bellied man or that scrawny ill-nourished geek).

Gay 2: Sayang. Some over here! (Asswipe! What is he doing at the counter taking drinks for himself only!)

Gay 1: Oh. He is the lucky one. (Oh my god! you’re so cute!! And yet so unlucky to be stucked with a bitch.)

Gay 2: Oh I love to talk more with you. (NOT!) but i really need to go somewhere. (I rather have sex with a cow than talk with you, if you know what i mean?)

Gay 1: Where are you heading to? (To hell i hope, and please leave behind this cute hunky guy that you are so undeserving of as a bf)

Gay 2: Oh. We are heading to cinneleisure to watch some artsy movie. (Anywhere would be better than being stuck here talking to you)

Gay 1: Oh okay. Keep in touch. (Yes. Keep in touch so that i can grab my hands on your cute little bf whom you so don’t deserve!

Gay 2: Yeah. Keep in touch. (Whatever bitch!)

Gay 1: See you around. ( I am so gonna snatch your bf one day and hope to see you when i am attached to him!)

Gay 2: Yeah bye. (Fuck off bitch!)

Just a side note: The words in green reflects what they are really thinking about.

2008-11-01T15:15:00.003+08:00

Ke-deng-deng!

When I opened my mail today, this is what i saw:

15 Nov show in brunei.. .available? (Go on 15 nov, return 16 nov.) all expenses paid for including meal allowance.

Kien

Unfortunately I have made an appointment on that day. So I had to reply:

Sorry Kien. I am not available on that day.

Side note: Oh well, one opportunity gone, there will come another. Just have to have faith. Insya'allah.

2008-10-15T06:46:00.011+08:00

What we do when we are OH_SO_BORED

Disclaimer: This video is an impromptu work. Any form of personal attack is unintetional.

Note: At the moment, I have forgotten how to add the mute button to the flash banner on top of my blog. So if you want to listen to the video, You might have to wait for the song to end first.

2008-10-09T12:27:00.002+08:00

Someone must do it...

I did what i had to do
I know it's a risk. I might be the next one to be X-ed.
But enough is enough
Someone had to do it
And since no one took the step
I lept
And i did it
Now awaiting for judgement.
No matter what the outcome is,
I have faith
that GOD is fair
And HE knows better.

2008-10-03T12:15:00.000+08:00

5 things that annoy me about Raffles Place and City Hall MRT stations

1. People who squeeze into the train even before I’m able to get out. Fine, this happens in every station. I normally just walk into them and take pleasure in knocking them backwards. They get a rude shock while I pretend not to notice.

2. People who try to squeeze (or worse, jump) into the packed train even though there’s clearly no space for them. Okay this happens at other stations too. If they make the mistake of trying to squeeze right beside me, I won’t budge a single bit for them. In fact, I’ll shift a little to fill up the space they’re attempting to get occupy, so that they quickly become conscious of the futility of their endeavour as well as their immediate need to exit before the train doors interact with them. If they’re pretty, however, I gladly help them in like a true gentleman that I am. Unfortunately the pretty ones are usually too shy to squeeze beside me.

3. People who decide not to get on the train, but stand right outside the train door preventing me and others from getting in. This happens a lot, and I can never understand why. I really feel like knocking them over on my way in. It’s not like the train is packed. Sure, there aren’t any seats left, but there’s still plenty of standing room. But they prefer to stand outside. Nincompoops.

4. Taking the escalator down to the wrong platform. Which means I have to locate the escalator to the right platform, which means that I would have missed the earlier train by then, or if I’m lucky, I’d catch the earlier train, but I’d be blocked and annoyed by those mentioned in #3, before getting squashed and annoyed by those mentioned in #2.

5. Taking the escalator from the bottom (basement 3) platform, and ending up only in basement 2 instead of basement 1 where the exit is. Which means I either have to crawl up the stairs, or locate the (distant) escalator to basement 1, which is also another annoyance, adding to the annoyance mentioned in #1 which I experienced just before taking the wrong escalator.

Maybe someday I’ll also blog about ~~Dhoby Ghot~~ ~~Doby Ghaut~~ ~~Dhoby Ghout~~ ~~Dhoby Gaut~~ another station which I can never spell correctly and can never locate the right exit.

Disclaimer: This is not an original entry from me. I got it from Tinker Tailor

2008-09-18T06:16:00.002+08:00

In school, they will call my act PLAGIARISM, that is with a capital P. But i just cannot help it. This entry is too good to just be let go like that. And thus, i did and therefore i am. PLAGIARIS-er, with a capital P. IS there such a word? Whatever it is, do indulge in the following entry they way i did...

Brand and Product Names that may not do too well with Singaporeans and Malaysians

Building up your brand or product with a memorable and striking name is essential, but a name which works well in your country or region may be taken out of context in another part of the world. The brand name Siemens surely invokes sniggles among teenagers of the English speaking world.

Here are 36 which I could think of at the moment, in the part of the world I live in. Do let me know if you know of any other!

1)
Name of Product: Softlan
What is it actually selling: Fabric Softener
What it sounds to us: Lan, in the Chinese dialect Hokkien, is the Penis. And having a Soft-lan, in certain situations, is definitely not a good thing for both parties.

2)
Name of Product: DBI-Sala
What is it actually selling: Fall Protection Equipment in the Construction Industry, selling Body Harness, etc.
What it sounds to us: The Malay word Salah means wrong, and when you're talking about body harness and how it's supposed to save your life in case you fall, you so do not like it to go wrong. DBI-Sala products probably don't do so well in the Construction Industries of Malaysia and Indonesia.

3)
Name of Service: Pukii
What is it actually: A savings plan, catered for children, created by The Shanghai Commerical and Savings Bank. Also, the little piggy mascot's name.

What it sounds to us: Puki, in the Malay Language, is the cheebye, which is, in clinical terms, the Vagina. With TVCs such as these, you'll have the children of China singing the jingles which goes puki-puki-puki, kawaii!, while in another part of the world, sputtering the same word could earn the Malaysian/Singaporean kid a smack across the face from their parents.

Anyway, Check out the Puki City as well.

4)
Name of Company: KOTEH Auto Sales
What is it actually: A Canadian Car Sales Company
What it sounds like to us: KOTEH is dick in Tamil. Indians in Canada must have giggled.

5) Picture Credit: Becca Sutton's Flickr
Name of Company: Wanko
What it is actually:A clothing line of Veeko International Holding Limited, Hong Kong. (Source). Executive wear, catered for women in their 30s.
What it sounds like to us: People in English speaking worlds would tell you: to wank is to masturbate, and though it's an activity people engage themselves in once in a while, no one enjoys being called a wanker. Much less tell people that you work in a place called Wanko.

Wanko has opened several branches in the shopping malls of Singapore, so you'll have people like my poor chinese-educated mother enjoying the smart executive clothes, totally clueless. And no, I can't explain it to her. I don't know how to say " to masturbate" in Mandarin.

6)
Name of Company: Pondan
What it is actually:Manufacturers of Baking Ingredients from Indonesia. Here's their website.
What it sounds like to us: Pondans are how the Malays call transvestites, and sometimes, effeminate men. Nama Salah lah, brudder.

For more intellectual entries, do drop by Jiayuan's Blog

2008-09-17T06:58:00.001+08:00

Letter from the Management

> EFFECTIVE SEPTEMBER 1, 2008
>
>
> NEW OFFICE POLICY
> Dress Code:
> 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
> 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will
> assume you are
> doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
> 3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so
> that you may
> buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
> 4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and
> therefore you do not
> need a raise.
> Sick Days:
> We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you
> are able to go to
> the doctor, you are able to come to work.
>
>
> Personal Days:
> Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called
> Saturdays & Sundays.
> Bereavement Leave:
> This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead
> friends, relatives or
> co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the
> funeral
> arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is
> necessary, the
> funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow
> you to work through
> your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
>
> Bathroom Breaks:
> Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict
> three-minute time
> limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the
> toilet paper roll will
> retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your
> second offense, your
> picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic
> Offenders' category.
> Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's
> mental health policy.
>
>
> Lunch Break: (Love this one)
>
>
> * Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that
> they can look healthy.
>
>
> * Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> maintain their average figure.
>
>
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> The Management

2008-09-14T06:16:00.002+08:00

From the Start till the End

Some of you may have known about my latest relationship with this person by the name of Amir. We got together on the 17th December 2008, 2 days after we met each oither. We broke up on the 15th March 2008. That is how far most people knew about the relationship. And i didn't talk much about it as i was still grappling with the whole issues pertaining to the relationship and I was having difficulty. When i finally blogged about it, it was like 4 months after the relationship has ended. Nonetheless, I still update this blog accordingly, in respect of the so-called sacred dates. However, i find it hard for the readers to navigate thorugh the whole blog just to get the whole story. So, as the writer cum producer of this bliog, i have decided to compile everything into one entry (of course you may choose to navigate aroun the blog, shd you feel adventurous and wated to find out more)for your erm... reading pleasures. (i know some people find pleasures in my pain, we need not mention who, of course). Just a little reminder, read the entry with a pinch of salt. It is after all, from my point of view, and i might therefore tend to sound biased. Do feel free to approach Amir for his side of the story. Apart from this, feel free to read on...

the start of a blossoming love

published on 19/12/2008

Taken from friendster (22/11/2007):
AMAC wants to brighten your day with a smile. Check out AMAC's profile and send a reply.
A message from AMAC:
hai....

And then Adi replied (22/11/2008):
hello back at ya.... hehe

A message from AMAC (23/11/2007):
haha.....btw u cute...haha...
anywae u str8 or...?

Then Adi replied (23/11/2008):
thnks dude..i swing both ways...bi

A message from AMAC (23/11/2007):
ouh.....
btw...hav u been to pwrhse b4??
cuz u look familliar actuaily....

Then Adi replied(27/11/2008):
nope...nvr been there..am not really a clubber...

A message from AMAC (30/11/2007):
ouh must b wrong person.....soowieee....btw add me...

A message from AMAC (6/12/2007):
btw...senang2 nak mit...........?

The Adi replied (7/12/2008)
Sure. Anything you can just call me at 91******.

Adi and AMAC chatted for a while and then they met on 16/12/2008
They got attached on 17/12/2008.
Then they have established that Adi is Spiderman and AMAC is Jean Grey.

A message from AMAC (19/12/2007):
saaaayaanng! lup u so much!
take care k...
lup u my hero......
-amir
jean grey!
hahah
mmuuuuuaaaackZ!

Then they further established Adi as MAriah Carey and AMAC as RIHANNA.
They began their wonderful relationship on the 17 December 2007.

Our first outing

published on 22/12/2007
this is taken from our very first outing at Cathay!

Our first picture as a couple.

Happy birthday SYG!

Tired. Yet happy. Celebrated SYG’s birthday. So i just let the picture do the talking for today...

And of course the little video...

The present i gave syg! Happy birthday syg! Lup u many many!

The Break-up

published on the 16.3.2008

The break up happened through a series of SMS exchanges and a single phone call...

Amir: Wuah daa pandai tinggalkan and high note kat org. Org mcm u aru kite tahu... dapat baru lamer u buat macam sampah.
Amir: ok...nape i tak leh bangkit citer lamer, u bole. U ingat i bodoh. Tak pena masok kedai AX skg u daa pandai... ape untok cine tu kan? Eh, org mcm u i daa tahu ur true color.
Amir: jangan nak belitkan citer... i tak pernah and sound pasal AX ke ape kat u. Nape u tibe tiba? I know AX cine nyer fav brand.
Amir: I m so dispointed. U daa mcm gini takpelah...u slamat ngan Kenny. Send my regards to him.
Amir: I gip u tym to choose me or Kenny? Watever ur decision is gud or bad, i respect. I nk u fikir masak masak. I takmu perkara ni terjadi like last time. U hv to make a clear decision. Tink through it.

Amir: Oo! Abeh caya. Bodoh nah! Btw, aku puas dpt kikis duit ko. Sebenarnya motive aku nk bodok bodohkan org pandai mcm kau. Tak sangka boleh bodoh kan kau easily.
Amir: Bodoh ko bodoh nah ke tak tahu mane juboh masne puki? Wake up bitch!

Post Break up

Published on 05.06.2008

After the break-up, Adi and Amir still contacted each other. Adi tried to patched things up, but Amir kept on sayin that he is not ready. Adi and Amir then made a pact; that if either of them should find someone they want to settle with, they should inform each other, so that no one will be waiting in vain. But along the way, Amir suddenly went DEAD, until one day...

Amir: Awk. How r u?
Adi: I am fine. Thank you.
Amir: Awk kita no longer werkin at aldo tau. So kita da takde pat vivo.
Adi: oh. Abe hawk keje pat mana skrg?
Amir: Kite mintak admin kat DHL. Entah can get or not.
Adi:So skrg nie u menganggur?
Amir: Yeah. Sebab kerja i rabak ah. I nak mintak off pun susah. Then i kena keje almost non stop. When i apply urgent leave terus diorang terminate i cakap attendance poor. Btw, did u find sumone oredi?
Adi: Nope.
Amir: Oh ok.
Adi: I know you are attached already?
Amir: Mana awak tahu?
Adi: Sumone lah told me. Sumber yang boleh dipercayai.
Amir: Saper awk? I bukan nyer popular sey...
Adi: Ade lah...
Amir: Awk, bilanglah awk. Pls...
Adi: Not important ;ah who told me. Yang penting u happy with the person u r attached with.
Amir: K la. I dun force u. Awk tahu, my father tak habis habis seh bising pasal i tak keje. Dier asik cakap pasal future lah semua keluar.
Adi: Maybe dia nak ngok u jadi father yang responsible one day.
Amir: I jady father. Haha. No way i tak akan kawin awk U...we still fren rite?
Adi: Yup.
Amir: I takmo lost contact with u.
Adi: Insya’allah tak awk...

Post break up part 2

Published on 28.7.2008

Through SMS-es...

Amir: Awk. Am i a bad person?
Adi: Erm.. i think you should know yourself better. Do you think you are a bad person?
Amir: I think i am ok jer.
Adi: Ifyou think you are okie, the you are okie loh. Cuma i nak tanya one question. Asal when you got attached you nvr tell me? I tot we made a pact to inform each other if we have moved on so that no one will be waiting for another in vain. But when you got attached, u din tell me. U made me wait for you like a fool.
Amir: Cos my BF said u haf an affair with Daen when we are still together.
Adi: Wat?! Me adn din we r just colleagues. I did not even do anything with him after wat happened last year. I m so disappointed. I tot u knew me better.
Amir: No. Because info dier semua betul.
Adi: Whatever. I hope you are happy with him now.

And then days after that, Amir and his new BF broke up. I guess what goes around comes around...

p.s: Hopefully this marks the end of the whole thing, cos seriously, this is one of the most tiring relationship ever.

2008-09-09T08:34:00.004+08:00

Puppetry workshop ended

YAY! I just had my last puppetry workshop a few days ago. Am very proud of them little ones. And btw...thanks MR Hairul for taking over two days of classes for me. Here are snippets of their puppetry shows... Enjoy!

2008-09-04T22:25:00.001+08:00

Things that I have been pondering

Sometimes I wonder why does some people like to criticise but they find it so hard to accept criticism? Doesn’t it work both ways? When you criticise people, you open up avenues for yourself to be patronised and criticised. If you feel that by criticising others, you are trying to improve them; then shouldn’t you accept criticism so that you too can be improved?

Does it make me a bitch if I speak up my mind? If i speak of what i think is the truth, i would be labelled a bitch. Why would people prefer to embrace hypocrisy? You know the all smiles-and-then-i’m-gonna-bitch-about-you-behind-your-back-attitude. I have seen how “best friends” bitched behind each other’s back. Why the preference for a facade?

Why do people like to preach and not practice what they preach? I have friends who speak about how when you drink, you are not allowed to fast. And HE speaks of the sins of being a homosexual. And SHE speaks of the sins of being a homosexual. Yet they drink. They smoke. He had premarital sex before, or what the muslims would have termed as ZINA. His best friend has piercings which he adores. Isn’t that what we called shubahat? I think I was blessed with pious parents who have educated me well in Islam. I believe i know more than these 2 friends of mine. Yes i have never preached to them about their lives like the way they did to others; not with the intention of making others better, but more of to show that they are better than the rest. In my most humble perspective, why preach when you cannot practice. Let me tell you the story of a prophet. A villager came and asked the prophet to advice his son not to eat sweets. The prophet came to the person’s house but he only looked at the boy and kept silent. He did this for three days. The villager then asked him why. And his reply was, “I love sweets and i ate them on impulse. That is why i don’t think i should be preaching to your boy about not eating sweets when i indulge myself in that activity”. This is why i guess he is a prophet, and my friends just remain normal humans.

Does it make me less of a muslim if i were to question about things i understand from Quran? I guess that is a lethal flaw. To believe without thinking. Should there be a being who claim himself as god one day, most of us would not be able to question otherwise; Cos we just believe without thinking. We are programmed to just follow orders. We are programmed to just be contented with what we have. To bershukur with what we have.

Sometimes i ask myself, what is my purpose here? I still have yet to find it. And i guess many people died not knowing.

2008-08-31T05:44:00.001+08:00

sMS exchange between Adi and Mr H

Mr H:I'm goin club wif my bro, yat. N my bf also will be there but wif his 1st bf. So if u r coming down, see u there k.

Adi: I m goin to Butter factory. Even if I m goin down to tanjong pagar area, i wud oni be goin to Tantrix.

Mr H: U r goin to tantrix with who?

Adi: With a straight colleague

Mr H: if u goin tantrix, let me know coz i m at play

Adi: Okay.

A few hours later...
Adi: I'm around tantrix

Mr H: I'm still at play. i m so drunk.

Adi: oh okie. Enjoy!

Mr H: Ni hairul tau. Where r u?

Adi: Tantrix.

A few hours after that, at ard 6 to be exact...

Mr H: I'm so sori to make you come down. Something happen just now at play. I really feel like shit lor just now. I think i m not fit 2 stay in dis world. N maybe i'm going to hilangkan diri i buat sementara.

At ard 8 am...
Adi: Sorry. Just got your msg. R u alright?

Mr H: Do i look alright to u?

Adi: I don't know. I didn't get to see you. Where you now?

Mr H: Home.i think i need some rest.

And that is the last thing i heard from beloved Mr H.

2008-08-30T20:33:00.000+08:00

PARTY - THE ARENA

Alter: Alright. I see you are all smiles. So what have been going on so far?

Adi: No. Actually this smile is as a result of some reflections that i have been doing so far.

Alter: And?

Adi: Do you know how blessed I felt?

Alter: What are you talking about?

Adi: I just realised that all this while I have been blessed with good people around me. You know
people whom i can laways count on. People who will come tio my aid without expecting anything in returns. An example would be these bunch of friends whom i got to know since my poly years. It cannot be denied that we have all quarelled with one another on many occassions, but here we are again. Together.

Alter: And where were these taken?

Adi: It was taken in The Arena. The place there is like super HAWWT! One of the rare occassions where i go to a straight club. We were there to sort of you know let our demons out before the fasting month commences in September.

Alter: And i see some cleavage here.

Adi: (laughs) Stop that. Initially i was in my black singlet, and then the bouncer said to me that i cannot enter unless i change into something with sleeves.

Coincidentally, i had this long sleeved sweater in my bag, so i just put it on and that was how i ended up wearing a long sleeve shirt in a straight club.

Alter: With a plunging neckline may i add.

Adi: It's not plunging.

Alter: Then what would you call that?

Adi: Chest baring? (laughs)

Alter: And then sources said that you made your way to tantrix after that?

Adi: Oh wait! before that, may i add that i just found out that gays are so much of better dancers
than straights. Cos when i was at The Arena, i saw a couple of gay guyz who are so well dressed and their dance moves really stand out from the crowd of straight people!

Alter: And now can we get back to the question?

Adi: Yes. i did go to tantrix later that night cos i promised a straight collegue that i will accompany him and some other friends there.

Alter: But sources also suggested that when you were at The Arena, you were messaging a certain someone that you might drop by to tantrix as HE was at play?

Adi: Ok. That was true. Actually that certain sumone asked me if i was going to play that night. and i told HIM that i might be dropping by tantrix. And HE said drop him a message if i got to tantrix, which i did. I was presuming he might want to meet me there. But when he replied saying he was drunk in PLAY, all i said to him was "OK. Enjoy!" And then from there on, i just made my way home with my straight colleague.

Alter: hhhmmm?

Adi: Ok. IF you are implying that there have been something going on with this certain person and me, i must admit that i had a crush on him but he seemed confused on whether he still wants to patch up with his EX or just move on. And amidst all this confusion, I just don't want to add to the complication. So it's better that i just be friends with him and nothing more. But then again, let's save this to another post. For now, let's just end it with a high note.

Alter: Such as?

Adi: I HAD FUN WITH MY POLY MATES at THE ARENA. yes. we should do this gain after the fasting month.

Note to JY: I like your tag so much and decided to quote it " After all the bitchfest, blogwars, flying walkie talkies, and shouting matches, here we are still as friends."

Note to Suhaila: Though i might have changed a little towards becoming, in your words, "party animals", you can rest assure that i am still me. I know my limits. I will stick to my policy of no drinking and no smoking. And i promise not to take work for granted!

2008-08-24T13:30:00.002+08:00

HAPPY birthday AUDREY

Adi: Before we start today’s session, I just wanna take this opportunity to say Happy Birthday to Audrey. I think she is absurdly worried about reaching 30 in 4 years. So my advice is, enjoy now, worry later. If anyone is suppose to be worried about getting 30 first, it should have been me. And I would have no qualms at all sharing my experience with her about being 30, 7 months before she does.

Alter: So what did you do for her birthday?

Adi: We just had dinner together. Or rather they had dinner together and i joined them later for the cake cutting session. It was simple yet very fulfilling. Oh yes, could someone please remind me that I have not gotten Audrey anything for her birthday. Erm, make it a whole list of people added to that.

Alter: And i heard sumone's EX was there?

Adi: Oh yeah. We were cool about it. We atlaked as per normal, asking one anotehr how we are doing and stuffs.

Alter: The usual formalities i see?

Adi: it's not that. It's like we are over it. She is happy with her partner, though she seemd a little shocked when i told her that i am single and that i just broke up with my BF last March.

Alter: Uh-huh.

Adi: And i finally got to meet Lyana, her current other half.

Alter: And?

Adi: Well, they seemed happy. And Lyana is a very nice person to talk with and hang out with. And considering that this relationship, i think is her longest, i am sure she is happy, and i only wish her the best in life. (smiles)

Alter: How about you?

Adi: What?

Alter: When are you goign to get attached?

Adi: Truthfully, I have no idea. When the time comes,i guess it will just happen. For now, i just want to concentrate on work.

Alter: Sounds very much like a textbook answer.

Adi: Really? whatever it is, here are the pictures from that night. Enjoy!

Adi: I just realised that i didn't have the group pictures. Whoeevr who have it, didn't post it up in FACEBOOK! bluek!

P.s: See Jiayuan, if you invite me and i said i will come, it means i will come. You didn't invite me to your birthday loh, so not my fault that i didn't turn up for it....hehehe

2008-08-16T18:21:00.001+08:00

Eat some more, eat some more

Alter: What a title for today's posting?

Adi: I know. But todays' posting is all about eating.

Alter: Really?

Adi: Yes. Some of you may have already known that I have this craving for durian mooncakes. The only reason why for em to look forward to mooncake festival is because of the mooncakes. Does that make sense to you?

Alter: Uh-huh. Move along now.

Adi: And so every year i am always on the lookout for buddies to bring along to satisfy my mooncakes craving. and This year I have my beloved sister, Cindy, to accompany me. Just a little note here, last year, it was with JY. And if last year i went to Swensens to relish in ym cravings, this year me and Cindy went to Goodwood hotel.

Alter: And speaking of Cindy, i heard she even blogged about the whole experience. Let me have the honour of quoting this woman from her blog, Fly

hey hey..tis is mahad..my 'sister' at work..look at his huge muscles..ummm..abit cannot see liao hor..haha..he treated me to goodwoods's durian mooncake and durian crepe which were sedap!!!we aso had mango mooncake..hot choco n cappucino..he refuse to let me see e bill but i know its nt cheap lo..hehe..its suppose to be a high class place but hoho..we were making a hell lot of noise..totally no image at all..as ever..had so much fun!!!hehe..1st time there,a bit mountain tortoise..so i asked e waitress quite abit of qn..feel so paiseh..but mahad says its ok..e waitresses are trained to ans qn, so we should ask em as many qn as possible to let em flaunt their talents!!!hahah...we cont to ask more qn!!!anyway it was eric khoo outside e glass panel..we keep waving to him 'TALENTED ACTORS HERE AVAILABLE FOR USE!!!!' we were so excited to see him n we count it to destine for us to see him..but later mahad suddenly realise tt goodwoods is the hotel of his father..hooo..MAhad!!!you still owe me treats!!!!

Adi: Yes. that reminds me, i still owe her one last treat after that day.

Alter: Oh. Can you bring me along the next time you are eating with this talented lady?

Adi: How do you know that she is talented?

Alter: IT takes one to know the other

Adi: Are you saying that you are talented?

Alter: Waht do you think?

Adi: Well. I am not going to argue on that fact, cos as they say, birds of a feather flock together. and that is why we are doing this Adi and Alter show together.

Alter: You've got a point there.

Adi: Oh yes. And after the food fiesta, we went over to Seoul Garden where we both eat to our hearts content, of course joined by our beloved Zamri, Suhaila and Hairul, where we not onyl eat, but eat and bitch at the same time, while oogling at cute guys and gals. IT is just too bad i didn't have any pictures yet, cos most of the pictures were taken by Suhaila and Cindy. Adn Suhaila have problems posting it up on FACEBOOK cos this is suppsoed to be a hush hush thing.

Alter: which part of it is supposed to be a hush hush thing?

Adi: the whole thing about us eating together at Seoul Garden cos not many people knew that we planned it way before in July.

Alter: But you are blogging about it?

Adi: Oh yeah.

Alter: So now the cat is out fo the bag?

Adi: i don't think so. and i am keeping my fingers crossed. not many people read my blog anyway.

Alter: God forbids.

Adi; and before i let out any more cats from the bag, i think we should just end
today's episode here. this is Adi signing out.

Alter: See you in another episode of Adi and Alter.

2008-08-10T14:11:00.000+08:00

What if...

what if god was one of us
just a slob like one of us
just a stranger on a bus
tryin to make his way home

OOps. Wrong songs to use i guess.This posting is nothing about god. IT is just about something which i used to wonder. Anyway i m sure i am not the only one. i am pretty sure some people always wondered what would they say or do if they were to be struck by an incurable or a terminal disease like cancer, or worst AIDS.

I always thought that if i should ever discover that i had contracted AIDS, i would just ignore it and just live normal and you know keep everything wrapped up within myself. I will not tell anyone. And i will not even bring it up to anyone's attention for fear ostracization.

But not anymore...

Cut to

Adi: You know, I went for an anonymous HIV testing.

Audrey and JY: And?

Adi: What?

Audrey and JY: The result?

Adi: Negative. (smiles)

Audrey and JY: (gives otu a sigh of relief)

Audrey: Adi. If you should ever found out that you have AIDS or any other terminal disease for

that matter, you would come and look for me and tell me, right?

Adi: OF course i will

Audrey: Promise?

Adi: Promise

Audrey: I don't want you to become like one of those loners with no one to tell about their sickness. We will all be ehre for you, you know that right?

Adi: I know that, and that is why i feel so blessed.

2008-08-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

What do you say to help a colleague reject someone

The following is an exchange of the SMS between Adi and Mr R; Adi helping Ms D to reject Mr R.

Mr R: Hi Bro. What you doing? Still working at Sentosa?

Adi: Work is normal if not boring. You still studying?

Mr R: Ya. I'm still studying...decided to retake my O level. So how are the rest? how is Diana?

Adi: She's ok. Still single. Y? U fancy her eh?

Mr R: Have always been, but she thinks i m too cheeky though i m not. How is Beep by the way?

Adi: He still in NS. So r u goin to court Diana?

Mr R: Trying to, but i can only date her after my O level exam. Can you help me with that bro?

Adi: I'm sori bro. But she no longer like guyz.

Mr R: What?! you mean she is a lesbian?! Oh my god! That Ex of ehrs must have screwed ehr the wrong way!

Adi: I'm afraid she has turned to liking girls now.

Mr R: Shit! she is a lesbian now! life has always been such a bum for me. Btw, how is Q doing?

Adi: She is attached to a ranger in Sentosa.

Mr R:DAmn it! never mind. if she was meant to be mine, she will be mine!

Adi: Bro. I gtg. Show abt to start soon.

Mr R: Okay. see you guyz around.

Note: Girls, if you wanna shake off any guyz from your tails, just claim yourself to be a lesbian.